Free Laugh-Out-Loud Jokes for Kids by Rob Elliott Page B

cereal killer.
    Q: Why did the baseball player go to jail?
    A: He stole second base.
    Q: Why couldn’t the twelve-year-old go to the pirate movie?
    A: It was rated arrrgh.
    Q: How did Benjamin Franklin feel about discovering electricity?
    A: He was shocked.
    Q: What do you call cheese that doesn’t belong to you?
    A: Nacho cheese.
    Q: How much did the butcher charge for his venison?
    A: A buck.
    Q: What does a rain cloud wear under its clothes?
    A: Thunderwear.
    Q: How did Thomas Edison invent the lightbulb?
    A: He got a bright idea.
    Q: Why did the lettuce win the race?
    A: He was a head.
    Q: Where did the most talkative people in the Bible live?
    A: Babylon (babble on).
    Q: Why was the broom late for school?
    A: It over-swept.
    Q: What did the alien say to the flower bed?
    A: “Take me to your weeder.”
    Q: What kind of button won’t you find at a sewing store?
    A: A belly button.
    Q: Why did the lady throw her butter out the window?
    A: She wanted to see a butterfly.
    Q: Why did the ninja go to the doctor?
    A: He had kung-flu.
    Q: What did the grape do when the lemon asked for a kiss?
    A: It puckered up.
    Q: Why couldn’t the monster go to sleep?
    A: It was afraid there were kids under the bed.
    Q: How long does it take to count four times infinity?
    A: Four-ever.
    Q: Who fills your tank at the gas station?
    A: Philip (fill up).
    Q: What is an alien’s favorite kind of candy?
    A: A Mars bar.
    Q: How do you get a skeleton to laugh out loud?
    A: Tickle its funny bone.
    Q: What do you take before every meal?
    A: You take a seat.
    Q: What did the mother corn say to her children?
    A: “Don’t forget to wash behind your ears.”
    Q: Did you hear about the actor who fell through the floor?
    A: It was just a stage he was going through.
    Q: What did the tomato say to the mushroom?
    A: “You look like a fungi.”
    Q: Why are babies so good at basketball?
    A: Because they like to dribble.
    Teacher: Name two days of the week that start with a “t.”
    Student: Today and tomorrow.
    Teacher: Billy, you missed school yesterday.
    Billy: Well, to tell you the truth, I didn’t miss it that much at all.
    Fred: Today the teacher was yelling at me for something I didn’t do.
    Mike: What was that?
    Fred: My homework.
    Q: Why did the cookie complain about feeling sick?
    A: He was feeling crummy.
    Q: Why is spaghetti the smartest food there is?
    A: It always uses its noodle.
    Q: What do you call a student who never turns in his math homework on time?
    A: A calcu-later.
    Q: How did the karate teacher greet his students?
    A: “Hi-Yah!”
    Q: Why did the bed wear a disguise?
    A: It was undercover.
    Q: What do you call a boomerang that doesn’t come back?
    A: A stick.
    Q: When do pine trees like to do embroidery?
    A: When they do needlepoint.
    Q: What is a baby’s motto?
    A: If at first you don’t succeed, cry, cry again.
    Q: Where do you keep your jokes?
    A: In a giggle box.
    Q: Why did the lady wear a helmet every time she ate?
    A: She was on a crash diet.
    Q: Why did the hot dog turn down the chance to star in a movie?
    A: None of the roles (rolls) were good enough.
    Josh: Did you hear about the restaurant on the moon?
    Anna: What about it?
    Josh: It has great food but no atmosphere.
    Q: What do you call a fairy that doesn’t take a bath?
    A: Stinkerbell.
    Q: What did one candle say to the other?
    A: “Do you want to go out tonight?”
    Q: What is a plumber’s favorite vegetable?
    A: A leek.
    Q: How did the French fry propose to the hamburger?
    A: He gave her an onion ring.
    Q: What has four legs and one head but only one foot?
    A: A bed.
    Q: What do potatoes wear to bed?
    A: Yammies.
    Q: What fruit teases people a lot?
    A: A bana na na na na na!
    Q: Why was the metal wire so upset?
    A: It was getting all bent out of shape over nothing.
    Q: What do you call the story of the three little pigs?
    A: A pigtail.
    Q: What did the peanut butter say to the bread?
    A: “Quit loafing around.”
    Q: What did the bread say back to the