Free The To-Do List by Mike Gayle Page B

glasses with beakers, I was in no mood for celebration. The brand-new year that we had just heralded was going to be one big lump of more of the same. I was sick of it. I was tired of it. I was never going to be a proper grown-up like Derek and Jessica.
            I was about to drown my sorrows in a world of bubbles when something lying on the floor caught my eye. A piece of notepaper. I bent down and picked it up.
            ‘What’s the matter?’ asked Claire. ‘You look like you’ve seen a ghost.’
            ‘I think I have,’ I replied handing her the paper.
            John and Charlotte crowded around Claire to get a better look.
            ‘What is it?’ asked Charlotte.
            ‘It’s a To-Do List.’
            ‘You’re joking,’ said Charlotte. ‘What does it say?’
            Under the title: ‘Where am I going exactly?’ and in frankly rubbish handwriting, I’d written down in blue marker pen a list of everything I wanted to do when I was twenty-three:
     
     1. Become a journalist.
     2. Write a novel.
     3. Write for the NME .
     4. Write a sitcom called Sibling Ribaldry .
     5. Write for Smash Hits or Just Seventeen .
     6. Develop a radio show called ‘The Pop Show’.
     7. Become a TV presenter.
     9. Read The Misanthrope .
    10. Read Fear and Loathing in Las Vegas .
     
    ‘Are you okay?’ asked Claire.
            ‘Yeah, I’m fine,’ I replied. ‘I just feel a bit weird.’
            ‘Because of this To-Do List?’
            ‘Do you know what? I actually did some of the things on there. I actually did become a journalist, I actually did write a novel, I actually did write for Just Seventeen and though I didn’t actually read The Misanthrope or Fear and Loathing in Las Vegas , write a sitcom, make a radio show or write for the NME I did at least have a couple of goes at being a TV presenter.’
            ‘That’s great,’ said Claire. ‘So why do you look so down?’
            ‘Because I’m not that guy any more, am I? That guy had a go and didn’t care if he failed. Some things he ticked off the list and some things he didn’t. What he didn’t do was give up at the first sign of a problem.’ I slipped the list into my back pocket, picked up my champagne and raised a toast.
            ‘Here’s to New Year’s resolutions.’
            ‘I know that face, Mike.’ Claire looked worried. ‘What is it that you’ve resolved to do? Not the Antarctic thing again is it?’
            ‘No,’ I replied. ‘It’s better than that. It’s the To-Do List. I’m actually going to do it! And though I appreciate that I might not tick all 1,277 things off the list, I’m going to give every last one of them my best shot.’
            When John and Charlotte had gone I sat at my desk and fired up my computer and wrote the following email which I sent to everyone in my online address book:
     
    Dear all,
    Just wanted to let you know (again) that having come to the conclusion that it was about time that I joined the world of fully functioning adults on a permanent basis only to change my mind a few months later, I’ve once again “about turned” and as of today will be focusing ALL of my efforts on the previously mentioned 1, 277-item To-Do List. This time round I really am hoping that my fear of being mocked twice over will provide me with sufficient inspiration and motivation to succeed where I have previously failed.
    Cheers, guys!
    Mike x
    P.S. Happy New Year!
    P.P.S. The only way is up!
     

PART FOUR
    January–April
    (During which a new year begins, I get stuck into the To-Do List and try my very best to make it to the first audit)
     
     
     

     
     

Selected Highlights from Mike’s To-Do-List Diary (Part 1)
    Monday 1 January
    5.15 a.m. Woke up and headed downstairs to tackle my first To-Do-List item of the New Year. 943: ‘Find the instruction manuals for the video recorder and DVD player and work out