Free Venus of Shadows by Pamela Sargent Page A

close to me until I know which. He's probably just waiting to strike out at somebody — I see it in his eyes." Nikolai paused. "Let me know tomorrow what you want to do."
    The evening call to prayer was sounding as Nikolai walked away. Malik thought of beginning his ablutions, then decided to ignore the call this time. He was about to enter his tent when Yekaterina called out to him. "Malik?"
    "Yes?"
    "Alexei won't be back tonight. I thought you might like to talk."
    She sounded lonely. He sat down in front of her tent, "He doesn't like to see me talking to you."
    "It isn't for him to decide, is it?" She smoothed down her coat collar. "He may have this tent to himself soon, unless he finds a place somewhere else. A few women have asked me to move in with them. They think they haven't gotten passage yet because they don't speak Anglaic all that well, so they'd like to practice it with someone who's more fluent. I'd also be safer with a group."
    "Kolya offered me a place in his yurt just now."
    "Then you should accept it."
    "I know," Malik said. "He seemed a little insulted that I didn't take him up on the offer immediately. I couldn't explain. I've had my own quarters for years — I don't know how well I'd get along."
    She laughed softly. "Hadn't you better find out before you get to Venus?"
    "I suppose so. Where's Alexei been spending his evenings lately?"
    "He's seeing a woman named Anya," she replied. "When he talks to her, he's full of words about how much he cares, and when he talks to me about her, he calls her a whore."
    Malik raised his brows, "That's hardly gracious of him."
    "It's how most of the people in my village think. They see any woman who lies with a man as a fool if she's not trying to bring him around to becoming her bondmate later. But how can Anya hope for that now? It's useless to make a pledge here, when we don't know how long we'll be waiting or where on Venus we'll end up. I told Alexei there was nothing wrong with Anya wanting companionship while she waits and that he should think more kindly of someone who shows him love, but he won't listen. He thought I was foolish for taking Yuri as a lover and not accepting his offer of a pledge."
    There was little he could say; some of his own people held beliefs as unreasonable. Even in the easygoing atmosphere of Amman, he had always avoided inexperienced women, in case any of them came from an old-fashioned family that might view the young woman's actions as a stain on the family's honor.
    "That's why Alexei doesn't like to see me with you," Yekaterina continued. "He thinks you would only amuse yourself with me and would never seek a bond with someone so far beneath you."
    "You're not beneath me now," he said. "I'm just another inmate of this camp. I don't understand why Alexei's so worried about me. I haven't given him any reason to think —"
    "You haven't, it's true. But he knows how I feel. He thinks I wouldn't turn you away, and he's right."
    Malik lowered his eyes. Her admission came as no surprise; he had sensed it from the beginning.
    "I wouldn't expect anything more of you," she said. "We don't know when we'll leave this camp, or even if we'll leave it together, but we could forget our worries for a while."
    He wanted to hold her, but restrained himself.
    "What is it?" she whispered as she leaned closer to him. "Are you afraid of Alexei? He'll only make trouble for himself if he does anything to you, especially now that Kolya's looking out for you. He'll say his harsh words to me, not to you."
    It seemed cowardly to admit that he was wary of her brother, but Alexei wasn't his only concern. He felt trapped, imprisoned by what he had always been, and realized now that he had dimly hoped he might escape part of his nature in the new life into which he had been forced.
    "It's my choice, isn't it?" she said. "Alexei has to learn that eventually." She drew back suddenly. "But maybe it isn't my brother." Her voice was pained. "Maybe I was wrong to think