Free The Music Trilogy by Denise Kahn Page A

suffer. He had not kept that promise. Now she was asking him how he could take her pain away. He felt the ache in his chest and wondered if his heart was tearing bit by bit.
    “It gets better with time.” He said softly, pretending to be his typical strong, confident self. “Life is full of beauty, an adventure that brings new joys every day. You are young. There will be happiness in your life, my darling. I promise.”
    Sela nodded, not really believing him. She went to her father and hugged him. “Thank you, Daddy. I hope you’re right.” As strong as the man was, he had no power over the tears that finally ran down his face.
    Sela went to the piano and started to play. She looked at the vase and took comfort in its presence. Next to it stood a picture of her and Ivan in Paris, in front of the Place de la Concorde, across from the hotel where he had proposed, on the happiest day of her life. Now he was gone, only a photograph remained, and a great void engulfed her soul. All she had left was her lifelong love and her passion—her music. Sela felt the vibration from the piano fill her body as she silently let her tears cascade down her embittered face.
     
    Sela leaned on the railing of the ship that took her out of the port of Alexandria. Such a beautiful city, will I ever come back here? She wondered. She looked down at the cerulean sea beneath her, debating on whether she should just disappear beneath the waves. Why not? What have I to live for? What joy can my life have without Ivan? She looked at her heart shaped ruby, the ring Ivan had given her in Paris for their engagement. Was I too lucky? Did I have too much? Did I not deserve you? Was my life too easy, too full? Was I not experienced in pain enough?
    Sela wrestled with herself the entire voyage to Monte Carlo, debating whether the depths of the sea would be a better world than the one she believed had abandoned her. Every day she locked herself in her stateroom, dined alone in her cabin, and passed the time by crying and ranting. On the night the ship docked in Monaco, Sela went to the Hôtel de Paris, called room service for a bottle of Vodka and proceeded to drink until she passed out.
    The next evening she went to the casino next door, dressed as always in an elegant designer gown and her dazzling jewelry. She sat at the tables and gambled for hours, and lost a great amount of money.
    “May I play your piano?” She asked the manager, taking a break from the games.
    “Of course, Madame Vidalis, for you anything.”
    I have no doubt, she thought. With what I lost here tonight I could buy a hundred pianos. Sela sat down at the grand, opened her purse and took out the frame with the picture from Paris and put it in front of her on the piano. She also took out a pack of cigarettes and put one in her mouth. The manager immediately lit it for her.
    “Thank you. Could I also have a Vodka?”
    “Right away, Madame .”
    Sela played for the rest of the night, a cigarette dangling constantly from her mouth and downed shot after shot of Vodka. She enchanted all the men in the great casino hall and they vied for her attention, but Sela didn’t want anything to do with them. She drowned herself in her sorrow. As an interlude she went to the tables and gambled some more.
    Sela continued this routine for a month—gambling, smoking, drinking and playing the piano. One night she was at the baccarat table and was losing heavily. She asked the manager for more chips.
    “I’m sorry, Madame , that is no longer possible.”
    Sela looked up, surprised. Could she be penniless? She started to laugh. “Don’t be ridiculous. My credit is good.”
    “Yes, Madame , is has been very good,” he said, dreading this part of his job. It was always so disconcerting when his guests lost their fortunes.
    “Oh, very well,” she said nonchalantly. She unhooked a magnificent necklace of south sea pearls from her neck and put it in front of her on the table. “Will this do?“
    Of