Free Espino, Stacey - Midlife Ménage [Ride 'em Hard 5] (Siren Publishing Ménage Amour) by Stacey Espino Page A

a matter of weeks. What did it mean that she never really loved a man, not even her own deceased husband? Was she a freak, a heartless monster destined to break hearts and live a lonely life? She knew she was pushing away Wade, when inside she wanted nothing more than to grasp onto him and allow him to fend off the world. She was sabotaging her own happiness and had no explanation for it.
    Wendy took a cleansing breath, then returned to Jackson’s room with the water. He was on his side, the lamp light accentuating every ridge of muscle. The young bronc rider had brought her to a peak she’d never known, and would no doubt be just as impressive a rider in bed as he was on a horse. But it had to be blasphemous to think of him in such sexual ways. He was nearly young enough to be her son with fifteen years separating them. It would be greedy and thoughtless of her to steal away a man in his prime for her own selfish needs. Once his infatuations wore off, he’d realize he had just committed his life to a middle-aged woman when he had so many good years left. She couldn’t give him children, and had little in terms of youthful beauty left.
    When she sat on the bed beside him, he opened his eyes. “I’m sorry, sweetheart. I fell asleep in the orchard. I told myself I’d just take two winks, get my second wind, but the exhaustion took me.”
    “You did too much,” she said, brushing his hair from his forehead. His blue eyes were beautifully shaped, hypnotizing. Why hadn’t she noticed before now?
    He shook his head. “I didn’t do enough.” Jackson took the hand stroking him and kissed it. “I’m not sick, just overly tired. Promise I don’t need mothering.”
    Mothering? Was that how he saw her?
    “Just drink the water. It’ll make me feel better.”
    He leaned up on one elbow and drank the cool water while keeping his eyes locked with hers. The quiet, private moment carried a larger-than-life intimacy. Did he feel it, too? Was she a fool falling for a young stud when she had no right to think of him in such unholy ways?
    “Thank you.” He set the glass on the small table beside him. “It’s late, you should be getting to sleep.”
    “I feel terrible about today. Don’t you have to ride tomorrow? You’ll be in no shape.”
    “No matter. I’d rather stay here with you,'' he said, resting one hand on her thigh. Her body lit up when his fingers molded to the shaped of her leg, slightly squeezing the sensitive area. How would she survive a day with Jackson underfoot, assaulting her with his flirting and flattery? She’d fall victim again, further fusing their lives together. What would her daughters think about her dating a much younger man? Would they be disgusted? As much as she wanted to think about her own needs, the approval of her children was important to her. She’d devoted her life to them, raising them on her own, and providing them the opportunities she didn’t have being such a young mother with so many responsibilities.
    “You’re wasting your time.”
    “And traveling the circuit is a better life?”
    She took a deep breath. “Jackson, I’m forty-four years old.” She said it like a curse, and in a way it was. Her youth vanished while she was asleep or hiding from life. If she were younger, she’d grab hold of Jackson, but this wasn’t a fantasy.
    He smirked, not appearing revolted as she’d expected. “Really? You’re younger than I thought. Tell me, darlin’, why do you have a problem with me? Is it because I’m a cowboy, twenty-nine, or because you’re scared to love again?”
    “I’m not having this conversation.” She felt cornered, claustrophobic. “You should rest. Your faculties are obviously back in place.”
    She stood up and headed for the door. “Think about my question,” he called out as she left the room.

Chapter Seven

    Wade had no plans on watching Wendy suffer. She may have refused his help in the past, but now she’d crossed the line by nearly killing