Free This Book Does Not Exist by Mike Schneider Page A

floor is cluttered with empty cups and soiled napkins and crinkled pieces of wax paper, like New York City on a windy day. Someone should be sweeping, but no one seems to care. Eventually, I connect to a network labeled “ bloodonthetracks ,” which I doubt is being generated by Starbucks – unless one of the trio of workers behind the counter went rogue. I suppose anything is possible since all three are wearing paper crowns from the Burger King next door.
    I open the Facebook app and accept Kirsten’s friend request. Her display name is her real name – without abbreviation or omission – meaning she hasn’t taken any steps to prevent people from finding her online. Her profile picture shows her posing underneath a banner that says “Happy Birthday Joe!” Her hands are folded together in the shape of a pistol. I can’t remember that banner being at Joe’s birthday party, but the dark skinny jeans and white wife beater she’s wearing are familiar. I think they’re what she had on the night we met. I forgot how attractive she was.
    I’m about to back out of the app when I notice a dialogue box specifying that Kirsten and I have one mutual friend. I figure it’s probably Joe, or maybe even Tim if she happened to find him first, but I tap on it anyway just to check.
    Our mutual friend is neither Joe nor Tim.
    It’s Geppetto. And he’s changed his profile picture to one that shows him alone in a cavernous office space, standing at an inkjet printer, waiting for something to finish printing out.

KIRSTEN’S FACEBOOK PROFILE
     

 
 
    Last Status: This is the end, my only friend.

 
    Network: Los Angeles, CA
    Sex: Female
    Birthday: May 26
    Hometown: Washington, DC
    Relationship Status: Single
    Interested In: Men

 
    Activities: Reading, Being Cool, Quitting Smoking, Having Conversations with Intellectual Pretensions, Getting Over It

 
    Interests: Music, Dancing, Film, Writing, Taking Risks, Failing Now To Win Later

 
    Favorite Music: Joy Division, New Order, The Smiths, Joy Division, New Order, Ke$ha

 
    Favorite TV Shows: The Wire , The Sopranos , Rachel Maddow , Inside the Actors Studio , Six Feet Under , True Blood , Twin Peaks

 
    Favorite Movies: Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind , Apocalypse Now , The Conversation , The Virgin Suicides , Fight Club , My Best Friend’s Wedding , Love, Actually , The Devil Wears Prada , Parallax View , Marathon Man , Synecdoche, New York , The Matrix , Requiem for a Dream , I love movies.

 
    Favorite Books: Alice in Wonderland , The Zero , The Raw Shark Texts , Lunar Park , The Great Gatsby , Tender is the Night , Easy Riders, Raging Bulls , Pride and Prejudice , To the Lighthouse , A Short History of Women , The World is Flat , Everything is Illuminated , Middlesex , Prep , Kavalier & Klay , Wuthering Heights , Dracula , Frankenstein , House of Leaves , The Glass Castle , A Million Little Pieces (yes, I know it’s fake), many more, but I’m tired of typing.

 
    Favorite Quotations: “There are things known and there are things unknown, and in between is the door of perception.” – Aldous Huxley

 
    About Me: I rock except when I don’t.

THE GIRL SHE WANTS YOU TO KNOW
     

 
 
    I had a sense of Kirsten from our conversation at Joe’s party, but reading through this list of her favorite things enables me to compile a more complete portrait of who she is – or at least who she wants people reading her Facebook profile to think she is.
    While processing this thought and considering how to apply it moving forward, a “pop” sneaks out of the speakers in my phone, alerting me to a new message inside the app’s chat function.

IM CHAT
     

 
 
    Kirsten : Mike…………you remember me?

 
    Me : i do, yeah. Hey.

 
    Kirsten : hi!

 
    Me : how’d you find me?

 
    Kirsten : haha it was weird bc I got a friend request from that guy Geppetto you’re friends with and he only had one other friend – you

 
    Me : do you know him?

 
    Kirsten :