Free Jake' Journal: The Riverdale Series Companion by Janine Infante Bosco Page B

And Maybe I did a couple of things one might consider bad but I swear it was all for a good reason. What could I have ever done that was so bad, that I pissed you off so much, that you would do this to me?
    I’m not a bad person. I’m not. I mean I could probably go to church more often. All right, so haven’t been to church since my confirmation, but really this is how you pay me back? Look I’m ready to make a deal. I’m at your mercy. I’ll do whatever I have to do. Please, just please let the results come back that the chemo is making some sort of difference.
     
    Sincerely,
    A Devoted Holy Roller If You Turn This Around
     

Dear Corinne,
     
    You and I never had the pleasure of meeting one another and although I’ve visited your grave countless times I think it’s time I formally introduce myself to you. I am Jake Lanza. I am the man who is hopelessly in love with your daughter. I’m the man who wants to make her happy, the man who wants to love and cherish her always.
    She was just a kid when you passed away, cheating you of the chance to know what an amazing woman she has become. Life is unfair like that. You see just as you missed out on your little girl turning into a teenager, and eventually into a woman, I am going to miss her blossom from the woman I know and love into a mother, one day a grandmother. Like I said, life has a way of being unfair.
    Cara remembers you. She can describe your features in great detail. I know that you had a beauty mark on the right side of your mouth. I tried to draw you a bunch of times, simply from her memory alone. I’ve never showed your daughter any of the sketches I’ve done though, afraid they won’t depict you as perfectly as she remembers you. Is that any consolation to missing out on her life? The fact that she remembers you so perfectly? I wonder this because I’m afraid she’ll forget me. Will she be able to describe my features years after I’m gone? I guess these thoughts are somewhat selfish so do you mind if we keep this between us? Just two people who loved Cara more than anything on Earth and two people who will love her for eternity.
    It would’ve been nice to have met you. I wonder if you would’ve approved of me for your daughter. I might not be the ideal man you would’ve hoped for her to be with but I can assure you no one loved her more than me and I’m pretty sure no one ever will. Anyway, I would’ve charmed you and I think you would’ve maybe liked me for the simple fact that I always respected Cara.
    Corinne can I ask you a favor? Think you can meet me at the gates and maybe show me the ropes? I’ll be looking for you. The beautiful woman with the warmest green eyes. Her brown hair flowing in curls around her face. You’ll be smiling the sweetest smile and I’ll instantly know it’s you because I’ve been told that smile is one I’ll never forget. A smile that even a young girl who barely remembers her childhood, never forgot.

    See you soon,
    Jake (I’ll be the one wiggling my eyebrows at the gates)
    .
     
     
     

Dear Jimmy,
     
    I’m not even sure why I am writing to you. It’s not like I feel the need to make peace with you or anything like that. By no means is this a letter of apology. I guess I’ve been thinking a lot about that night at the trucker’s stop. Maybe it’s because Nick is back in town and every time I see his face, I think of the way he saved my ass that night.
    I tried to kill you and I’m pretty sure I would’ve if Nick hadn’t shown up when he had. Come to think of it, maybe you should write a letter to Nick, thanking him for saving your ass too. I had so much hatred for you. How could you treat Cara the way that you did? It doesn’t matter. There is no excuse for the way you treated her. She didn’t deserve that but you know what? You didn’t deserve her.
    I hate that she had to endure the shit you put her through but sometimes I wonder if you had been a father to her if she would be in my life.