Free My Lost and Found Life by Melodie Bowsher Page A

him in confusion.
    I opened the envelope and discovered it was a legal document that didn’t make any sense to me. But one thing was clear: this wasn’t a good omen.
    â€¢ • •
    Weeks had passed since my mother went missing. I had done absolutely nothing except wait, since, to be honest, I didn’tknow what else to do. I did stay away from Ecstasy. No way did I want to relive the quarrel with my mother again. Instead, I occupied myself by sleeping late, followed by surfing the Net or watching TV. In between, I would read, paint my nails, and talk on the phone. At night I went out dancing with Tattie to some club or other.
    When the senior-trip gang had returned from their seven fun-filled days in Hawaii, I told Nicole all about losing my virginity with Webb. She was shocked. Nic wasn’t very experienced with guys—her romantic nature always got in the way. She’d get a crush on someone for a while, but then go off him pretty fast when he got into a farting contest or got drunk and urinated on the lawn or some other stupid guy trick. I don’t think they can help themselves; guys are just naturally gross. Poor Nicole, she actually believed her soulmate was out there somewhere and she’d find him someday. Till then, she refused to bend her standards or do the deed. For her sake, I hoped she’d find Mr. Perfect. I had no such illusions about the opposite sex.
    Nicole found it hard to believe I’d done “it” just like that.
    â€œIt sounds so cold-blooded,” she protested. “You don’t even love him. Do you?”
    â€œDon’t be silly. I just wanted to get it out of the way, and you must admit he’s hot. Anyway, it seemed like a good idea at the time.”
    â€œWhat if he tells someone and it gets around?” Nicole was so sweet, the way she worried about me.
    â€œSo what?” I gave her a sly smile. “I hope it does get around. I hope it gets all the way around to Scott. He missed out and I chose Webb. I hope that annoys the hell out of him.”
    â€¢ • •
    Whether Scott ever found out or not, I had no way of knowing. I didn’t see Webb again either. Eventually Tattie let it drop that Webb had a job working construction in the East Bay, and he was going to boot camp in September.
    I had no idea what I would be doing in the fall or even tomorrow. Without my mother, there wasn’t going to be any freshman year at Boston University or anywhere else. Unfortunately, my mother had not reappeared, except in my fitful dreams.
    While I should have looked for a job, I didn’t know how to go about it. If someone had offered me one, I would have taken it. But I just couldn’t walk up to some counter and ask to be hired—what if they turned me down and everyone laughed? I’d die of humiliation.
    Selling clothes to Couture Closet was the main source of my funds, and the pittance I received disappeared fast. It’s a good thing I’m not a big eater and fast food is cheap. Still, I had to buy shampoo, tampons, cat food, and so on. I canceled the cleaning lady and the garden service but just tossed the rest of the bills on the dining room table.
    Then the phone calls started—first, little reminders that our Visa bill or water bill was overdue, and then more strident requests for payment. I let the answering machine get them.
    Police cars still drove past our house, but Strobel and his cohort didn’t bother me anymore. They, too, seemed to be waiting for my mother to return. I couldn’t imagine that she wouldn’t, no matter how angry she was with me or what she had done. I tried to picture her as a fugitive—sunning herself on someMexican beach, sipping margaritas and forgetting all about her bitchy, selfish daughter. But I couldn’t imagine it—that wasn’t my mother. She loved me and she would come back.
    Bad things are supposed to come in threes. My cell phone was number one.