Free Reel to Real by Joyce Nance Page B

forced a half-smile.
    “You know I would never do anything like that. I was totally, totally BS’ing you. Of course, I wouldn’t do that. That would get me thrown right back in the fucking pen. And I fucking definitely don’t want that.”
    Shane saw Jason unclench his jaw.
    “Hey, let’s forget all about this shit and just relax. I’m gonna go get you another piece of strudel,” Shane said. “You look like you’re still hungry.”
    February 20, 1996
    It was a chilly day in Pueblo, Colorado. Kids were bundled in their parkas and a gray mist hung in the air. The more prudent citizens were headed home, before the storm hit.
    Despite the weather, John stood at a payphone outside a liquor store down the street from the steel mill, a bag of quarters and dimes in his pocket. He had business to attend to.
    “Hi,” he said. “Know who this is?”
    “John?” Esther said. “Where are you? How are you? I’ve been worried sick. I didn’t know if the cops caught you or what. I didn’t know where you were.” Her voice trembled as she rushed to get her words out.
    “Sorry, sugar, I’ve been on the move. I’m in Chicago right now. I had to go somewhere safe.
    What you been up to?”
    “Nothing, nothing. Just working. And worrying.”
    John let a breath out. “Did you get that kid’s dad to drop those charges yet?”
    “No,” she said, and told him the dad was still being unreasonable. John reminded her how the whole thing was basically her fault and now, as a result of the trouble she had caused, he didn’t have any money.
    “I miss you so much,” she said.
    “I miss you too, babe, but I could really use a couple of bucks,” he said. “I’m completely broke.”
    She thought about it for a moment. “Well, I don’t have much, except for my tips. I guess I could send you some of that if you need it.”
    “That sounds really good,” he said.
    Esther told him she had been working pretty steady at Denny’s and she could probably spare a hundred or so.
    “That would work,” he said, and instructed her to have Shane wire the money right away. Tomorrow, if possible.
    “Yeah, I’ll do that. Can I tell you again how much I’ve missed you?”
    “Sure.”
    “I missed you so much, John. I thought about you every day, all day. I’ve really missed telling you how much I love you.”
    “Me too,” he mumbled.
    She told him that the police had not returned to her house to look for him since he left, so maybe he was already on the cops’ back burner. In fact, it might be safe for him to return to Albuquerque very shortly. John said he probably would do just that as soon as his finances improved. Maybe, he said, if he could get a little more money, then he could afford a lawyer to get him straight with the law. She said she understood and promised to send him as much as she could.
    “Thanks, babe,” he said. “The more money I get, the quicker we’re gonna be able to get back together.”
    “I’ll do the best I can,” Esther said brightly.
    John did not mention he was really in Colorado. As he would say later, he thought it best “to keep her blind” so that there wouldn’t be any more conflicts between her and Crystal.
    When he returned to Crystal’s house after the phone call, he did not tell her about the call he just made to Esther, either.
    Made total sense to him.
    ***
    Esther wrote to her friend incarcerated at the Women’s Correctional Facility in Grants, New Mexico again.
    Dear Cynthia
    Sorry to dump this on you but things aren’t going too good for me right now. Lately, it’s been one thing after another. I’ll tell you about the other thing in a minute but first I want to ask your advice on something.
    Before I went to prison, back in Hobbs, I had an admirer named Teddy Bear. I’ve known him for years. He’s always been super nice to me and took care of me when I needed it. We were lovers a couple of times but we were also good friends. He was my drug dealer too but a nice drug dealer