Free Fantasy Attraction (Hidden Secrets) by P. J. Belden Page B

you, he’s out there searching for you.”
    Kayla was proving to be a wonderful friend, but she had that part all wrong.  There was no one out there for me.  None of that was meant for me.
    “No, he’s not.  Kayla, you were meant to be happy to overcome what was taken from you and take some back.  I’m not.” I said, looking away from her.
    “Why?  Because you were dealt a shit hand during a time you couldn’t stop it?  Hun, your mother was the wrong one.  Not you.”
    “Yes…” My voice broke as I tried to answer.
    “Honey, talk to me.  You can trust me.  I promise you.”
    I stared up at Kayla and I knew in my heart that I could trust her.  She has overcome so much; maybe she could help me overcome my past too.  It would be nice to stand on solid ground again and not feel like I was going to fall at any moment.
    “My mother beat me and verbally abused me and even cut all my hair off because she thought I was prettier than her.  That wasn’t the whole of it.  My dad and I ran away.  He took me to the bar with him and we ran away.  It was the best year of my life.  Just me and my dad and I never had to worry about hiding or anything.  I got comfortable in my life.  We thought it was all finally over.  We were wrong.  It all had only just begun. See we did not know that she had a major drug problem, or that she was mixed up with very dangerous people.  She found us a few times and we had to move when she did, but we got away from her for a bit anyway.  The last time she found us, I was home alone.  I was thirteen years old. She was there when I got home from school.  She jumped out when I least expected it and started to hit me.  I’d had enough by this point.”  I moved away from Kayla and began pacing up and down my living room.
    “I started hitting her back.  I didn’t care anymore.  She wasn’t a mother.  She wasn’t family.  She wasn’t a friend.  I hated her!  I hated her, Kayla.  I swung whatever I could get my hands on.  She pulled out a gun and pointed it at me…”
    “You little bitch!  You think you can get away with treating me like that?  How dare you lay a hand on me!”  The gun was pointed right at my chest.
    I didn’t care what she did to me.  She was nothing to me.  She deserved nothing from me.  
    “Shoot me, Harriet!  Shoot me!  I hate you!”
    I heard the click of the gun being cocked at the same time I heard the keys in the door. It was like everything went into slow motion.  Nothing seemed real.  I spun around.
    “Daddy! Nooooo!”
    I had no more than got the words out of my mouth when I heard the gun fire.  It was a sound you never forget.  It was like a firework going off without the screech build up and the bright colors at the end.  No, there was a screech after it and it was me screaming, when I realized my father had been shot.  The redness started small on his white button up shirt and began to widen.
    The look on my dad’s face was one I will never forget.  His eyes were wide as he clutched his chest and stared at Harriet and then turned to me before mouthing “Sorry, flower.”
    I moved in what seemed like slow motion toward my dad.  Turning my back on Harriet, I ran to my dad and wrapped my arms around him as he started to fall.
    “Daddy, no,” I sobbed.
    “Flower, I love you.  I’m sorry I didn’t protect you better.  Please be better than your mom, be better than me.  Don’t stand for anything.  I will be with you always,” he started coughing and blood splattered my shirt.
    “No, Daddy.  You can’t leave me.  I need you. Please don’t leave me alone.” I cried.
    “I…love…you…flo…” He never got to finish.
    I watched the life drain from his eyes and he went limp in my arms.
    “No, Daddy! Please! Daddy!” I cried.
    I was broke from my thoughts by Kayla wrapping her arms around me.  I felt empty inside just as I did that day.  My life changed after that.
    “I was then moved in with my mom