Free Young God: A Novel by Katherine Faw Morris Page A

climbs the steps of a white and sagging house. She takes a deep breath. She closes her eyes and opens them.
    The little girl answers the door in her tutu. Nikki smiles at her.
    “Is your daddy in?”

     
    THEY WATCH TV. It’s in Spanish but by now Nikki understands. She’s been here for an hour. She looks at the bed sheet.
    The little girl lies on the couch with her feet in the air. She has matching pink slippers. She has a different baby doll. She’s chewing on its plastic fist. Nikki looks at her.
    Nikki takes the baby doll out of the little girl’s mouth. She knocks over the blow-up castle. She cracks the front door and throws the doll out. When she comes back the little girl is sitting up. Nikki waits for her to cry but she screams instead. A high shriek that pierces Nikki’s ears.
    Nikki shrieks, too, much louder than the little girl until the little girl is silent and staring.
    Nikki looks up. The bed sheet is open. The girl’s father is standing in the doorway to the kitchen with his arms crossed over his chest.

     
    THERE ARE NO TOYS IN THE KITCHEN. There is a table with a lace cloth and two wooden chairs. The man sits in one and Nikki sits in the other.
    “Where’s your father?” he says.
    “He couldn’t come,” she says.
    “Why not?”
    “He’s busy.”
    “So he sent you?”
    Nikki shrugs. The man has his chin in his hand. He’s studying her. She studies him, too. His face is moonlike. She’s holding the book bag in her lap with her arms through the straps.
    “What’s your father busy doing?”
    “Busting holes in our walls with a bat.”
    The man’s eyes laugh.
    “I want a ki,” Nikki says.
    He crosses his legs.
    “How old are you?” he says.
    “Sixteen,” she says.
    The man smirks. Nikki shifts in her chair. It creaks.
    “I was twelve when I started. But I was a boy.”
    “Oh,” Nikki says.
    She tries smiling at him. There is a long silence.
    She feels queasy. She cuts her eyes to the bed sheet. She thinks she has fucked up. At the very least he’s going to rob her, she thinks.
    He tilts his head.
    “The element of surprise is a powerful thing.”
    “What?” Nikki says.
    The man stands in his chair. He pushes up a tile and reaches into the ceiling. A black lump of heroin falls onto the lace and Nikki nearly jumps out of her skin.
    They keep coming. Some of them thud onto the floor. They keep coming until there are forty of them.
    The man climbs down.
    “What’s your name?” he says.
    She stares at him. She thinks about what Coy Hawkins said.
    “Nikki.”
    “Nikki, I’m gonna tell you what I tell that crackhead father of yours. If he fucks me I’m gonna fuck you in front of him. Then I’m gonna cut him so his insides fall out. Then I’m gonna cut you so your insides fall out next to him.”
    The man touches his chest.
    “I’m Junior,” he says.
    Junior leans back in his chair. He rubs his neck.
    “Don’t speak to my daughter again.”
    Nikki looks at the table. She chins at the kilo.
    “How much?” she says.

     
    SHE HARDLY NOTICES THE INTERSTATE. She happens to glance at the gas gauge and the black arrow’s dangling below the red E like it’s broken.
    “Fuck,” Nikki says.
    She takes the next exit. As soon as the ramp curves she sees it’s the service road.
    “Fuck,” Nikki says.
    It’s so bright. She pulls into the first gas station. She walks fast through the lot and looks in every direction. It’s a different store and a different register man but still her heart’s beating out of her chest.
    “What pump?”
    “What?” Nikki says.
    The man taps his fingers on the counter. Nikki sees her. She’s by the coffee machine. Nikki just stares.
    “Angel?” Nikki says.
    She feels giddy and like she might vomit. The girl tucks her hair behind her ear and her neck screams. The black letters are like a stamp on her pale skin. They look like they’re choking her.
    “Angel?”
    Nikki goes to her. Nikki grabs her arm. But it’s not Angel’s face that