Free Falcon Song: A love story by Kristin Cross Page B

Nothing on this earth could change that. It had been forged in the steel of a lifetime and tempered in Kennen’s death and they would always have that.
    She had to admit that that didn’t necessarily mean that they’d live happily ever after. Or even that they’d end up together. She would be his friend, but she had to have her self respect as well. She couldn’t be a toy. A toy or an unpurchased cow. She couldn’t. But even if they didn’t end up together, they would still be friends.
    Even as she told herself that, she knew that if indeed they didn’t end up together; her world would come apart at the seams. She knew it would, and she was trying to see her way through to a happy ending, but she was so mixed up. Mixed up and just now bone tired.
    Sighing, she sat down next to him on the edge of the swing. Going past him to go in and go to bed without talking to him was beyond her. She owed him better than that, even if she didn’t have any idea what to say to him. He was too good a man to play head games with.
    She put a hand gently on his cheek and then began to run her fingers through his hair and it wasn’t but just a few seconds until he opened his sleepy, emerald green eyes. As soon as he did, his face lit up in a tired smile that did her heart good. There could have been no faking it. He was glad to see her.
    He reached up to take her hand, where it had stilled in his hair. “Hey, Kate. I’ve been looking for you. Cody said you were at his house, but I couldn’t find you. Where have y’all been?” He blinked and tried to see his watch in the porch light.
    She didn’t say anything, and he blinked again and looked up at her in surprise. “Kate! It’s almost two in the morning! What are you doing out so late?”
    She shrugged and looked away, not sure what to tell him. She couldn’t admit seeing him at Cody’s and feeling so hurt and confused. It was too revealing. Made her feel too vulnerable. She settled for, “I decided to go for a drive and talk to an old friend of mine. What are you doing sleeping on Mom’s porch swing?”
    He sat up and rubbed his eyes and then looked at her in confusion. “Wait. Start again. You’ve been where?”
    Smiling sadly, she admitted, “To Texas. To talk to God. What are you doing here?”
    Still confused, he looked at her warily. “Why did you come to Cody’s but not come talk to me.”
    She shrugged again and sat back so she didn’t have to face him. “Aah, it was too loud at Cody’s and didn’t smell so good, so I left. I’m not really one for that kind of party. You know that.” She put a foot down and moved the swing, knowing he was still staring at her.
    “Didn’t smell so good. I see. So you left without speaking to me. No. I don’t see. Kate, it’s me, Jason. Talk to me. What’s going on?”
    “Nothing’s going on, Jase. I got off work and went to find you, but you looked like you were already busy and I hate those kind of things. You know that. So I took a drive to clear my head.”
    He turned to study her. “You’re hedging. You can’t fool me, Kate.” She didn’t reply to that and he finally asked, “Did it work?”
    It was a strange question and she looked up in confusion and asked, “Did what work?”
    “Did it work? Is your head clear?”
    She rolled her eyes and said lightly, “Oh, yeah. I’m all clear. Clear as the blue sky. And you?”
    He leaned back and pushed a hand through his tousled hair. “I’m worried as hell.”
    “Hmm.” Her tone of voice was light again. “Anything I can do to help?”
    “Yeah, Kate. Y’all can tell me what you’ve done with my best friend and help me figure out why you get more and more distant from me by the day. What’s going on, Kate? What’s with keeping things from me? That’s not us. That’s not like you. Clue me in here.” He sounded incredibly bitter and discouraged and her heart went out to him.
    “I’d tell you if I knew what was going on, Jason. I feel the same way.