Free Big Girls Do Cry by Carl Weber Page A

lot of thought and consideration. We’ve even prayed about it.”
    Tim was beginning to get on my nerves. We didn’t need all this buildup—just get to the damn point. “Come on, cut to the chase. Are you going to let Tammy be our surrogate or what?”
    Tim heaved a deep sigh. His words came out in a rush. “No, Egypt. I’m sorry, but we can’t do it.”
    “Huh?” I turned to Tammy. She wouldn’t look at me. This had to be some kind of damn joke. “This isn’t funny, Tammy.”
    “We’re not laughing, Egypt,” Tim answered for her. “We know how bad you want a baby. We just can’t help you.”
    “Why not?” My eyes filled with tears, but I bit my lip and held back my pain.
    “Well, Tammy is thirty-eight, and carrying a full-term pregnancy at her age could be a health risk. Plus, she’s overweight.” Tim was enumerating his points with his fingers, as if he had practiced this little spiel. “If she carries a baby, it could push her into diabetes. We’ve got Michael and Lisa to think about as well. My children deserve to have a mother while they’re growing up. People still die in childbirth in this country, you know.”
    “Tammy won’t die,” I assured Tim. “And she’s been overweight since you met her. And we’re willing to pay for her to have the best doctors.” I knew I was babbling, but I couldn’t help myself. I had been so sure they were going to say yes, and now that Tim was refusing, I felt like someone had let me unwrap a beautiful gift and then taken it back. “She could go on bed rest the entire pregnancy.”
    Tim’s voice was firm. “No, we’ve thought about it. Tammy—I mean, we—can’t afford to lose a year of our lives. I’m sorry, but we have to put our own family first.”
    I turned back to Tammy, appealing to her. “I know this is a lot to ask, and I wouldn’t ask you for this if I wasn’t desperate, but I just want a baby of my own.”
    “I know, Egypt, but I haven’t lost my weight from my last baby.” Tammy, wringing her hands, had tears in her eyes.
    I felt if I could just get through to her, she could convince Tim to go along with our plan. “You know I would do anything for you, and I have.” I gave her a pointed look, since Rashad didn’t know about the threesome I had had with Tim for Tammy.
    Tammy continued, “Tim’s right, Egypt. Having a baby would be like losing a year out of our lives. I’m sorry, but I just can’t do it.”
    Rashad stood up, his back ramrod straight. “Come on, honey. Let’s go. Tim, Tammy, we thank you for your time.” He was polite but obviously pissed. I rarely saw this side of his personality.
    “Why can’t you guys stay for dinner?” Tim asked. “Tammy made those beef ribs you like so much, Rashad.”
    “No, thank you.” Rashad kept his eyes straight ahead.
    I turned to Tammy one last time. “Tammy, please. I’d do it for you.”
    She didn’t answer. She just looked down at the floor with her eyes full of tears. I now had my final answer. I wanted to throw myself at Tammy’s feet and beg her to have our baby, but instead, I got up and followed my husband to the front door, sobbing softly.
    “Stop crying, baby,” Rashad said, putting his arm around me as I got into the car. “If it costs every cent I have, we’ll find someone to have our baby.”
    Tammy followed us outside, crying too. “Don’t be like that, Egypt. We’re still friends. Don’t take it personally. I would do it if I could.”
    “What are you trying to say, that this is Tim’s decision, not yours?” I turned to Rashad, who was now sitting in the driver’s seat. He just shook his head as if he could read my mind. “Tammy, I’ve known you long enough to know that if you wanted to do this, Tim couldn’t stop you. No, this was totally you. Tim’s just backing you up.”
    “Egypt, I can’t.”
    I put my hand up. “Don’t, okay? Just leave it alone.”
    “Listen, why don’t you ask Isis to do it? She’s your sister, andthe baby