one brain, they stopped just outside the edge of the trees near the house and began to make snow balls from the freshly fallen snow. A thrill of anticipation leaped through me and I bent down to help them, the need to be part of something other than sorrow spurred me on with a greater force than I thought imaginable.
From our spot in the trees, I could see Dad and the kids playing out in the snow. Their shouts of laughter filled my ears and I watched as Aaron tried his best to pummel his father with meager snowballs that had been made in haste. Off to the side, Caitlin tried to help while Sara simply grabbed onto one of Dad’s legs and hung on for dear life as though she could keep him from escaping. Her little body wrapped up in her puffy jacket made the scene all the more comical and a hint of laughter passed through my lips.
Gasping, I held a hand to my mouth and let the joy I was feeling spread to the tips of my body. It was like coming to life after being dead for so long and I rejoiced in the returning of myself. Snatching one of the snowballs from my elder brothers, I broke our cover and dashed across the pavement and threw the snowball with perfect accuracy. Its target took the snowball to the face with a surprised grin that turned into laughter, and Dad tried to shake the bits of snow from his whiskers.
Without hesitation, Aaron changed targets and tried to throw his hastily-made ammunition at me, which I expertly ducked.
“Wait Aaron!” I yelled, laughing, “We’re about to be attacked!”
He paused mid-throw and right on cue, the twins burst out of the trees, their arms filled with snowballs. Caitlin and Sara squealed with delight as they saw the two familiar faces headed their way, but quickly retreated when one of the balls hit Caitlin in the chest.
We dashed here and there, our bodies heaving as we made and threw snowballs at one another. One moment I was someone’s enemy, and the next I was their partner fighting off foes back to back, until Sean yelled, “Every man for himself!” He began running behind people to thrust snowballs down the backs of coats and warm sweaters.
He tackled me by wrapping his arms around my legs and I came to an abrupt halt falling in the snow. I howled but to no avail, the cold snow was shoved under my fleece coat and against my skin. A loud squeal turned into laughter and I kicked away from him, only to be grabbed again. But I was saved by the raining balls of snow that came from the little fists of Sara and Caitlin, who upon realizing they were next, screamed and ran for the house, only to be cut off by the other evil twin.
I laughed from my spot in the snow as I watched Derek pick one sister up in each arm and hold them out to the torment of Sean, as he threatened to push snow down their jackets. Their laughter resounded throughout the area.
“Lissie!” I heard the little voice on my left and saw Jillian coming over the ledge with Emly in her arms, Justin and Kaleb toddling by her side.
“Hey!” I said as the little body pushed his way through the snow and wrapped himself around my stomach. Almost slipping as I stood, I held Justin against my hip and let the closeness fill my heart with warmth. This, this is what I had been missing. It wasn’t the same type of love, but it was still love. Just having the chance to feel something was enough to make me forget, if only for a moment, what had happened.
Turning to look at my family, I felt something I thought I had lost so many months ago. The night Emly was born was the night I realized I didn’t belong and I had left. But once I had found those who were like me, it had all been taken away and here I was again at home. Just as a wave breaks over the shore, I realized I had been wrong.
Whipping the tears of joy from my eyes, I snuggled closer to Justin and kissed him on the cheek. It was here that I