Free Swallowing Grandma by Kate Long Page B

And, in the privacy of her super-cool bedroom, something would occur. A kiss, maybe. An embrace, endearments. Possibly some hair-stroking.
    But now it was too late because we would be leaving school in half a term, and I hated her anyway because of the Belt Incident. I’d had Donna killed several times since; once on a ski trip, some kind of collision with a rock; once by a jealous ex-boyfriend who’d waited till she came out of a pub and then run her over in his sports car; and once a good old-fashioned tumble down the stairs in her high heels. The same for Nicky Hunter, too, only perhaps with just the sustaining of major injuries because I hadn’t been in love with her.
    Yet there we were on this Wednesday morning, Donna and me sitting at opposite ends of the common room during a midday free, and she was still alive and I was still fat. She was at the far end, half-hidden by the drinks machine, plugged into her Discman, and apparently engrossed in highlighting pages of notes. I was in a corner, covering my face with a book. There were only half a dozen other people around and I thought, if it ends up just me and her left on our own, I shall get up and walk out.
    The door swung open and there was Mrs Law. You don’t mess with Mrs Law; she’s Psychology and Acting Deputy Head and Careers. If she decides she doesn’t like you, that’s your UCAS form down the pan. The Lower Sixth call her Judge Dredd, and she knows, and likes it.
    ‘I’m looking for volunteers,’ she announced.
    Everyone shuffled but no one made any positive movement.
    Mrs Law did her lighthouse-flash gaze round the room. ‘Jenny? Lissa? What about you?’ They got to their feet, frowning suspiciously at each other. ‘And you, Sita? Come along; Alex as well. Just a quick job, helping out your fellow students in the sports hall. Won’t take five minutes of your valuable time. Jasmine and Zoe, surely you’re not hiding behind that curtain? That’s it, out you come, a break will do you good.’
    I saw Donna glance round and register alarm at the emptying common room. She unplugged her headphones swiftly. ‘I’ll come too, Mrs Law.’
    Mrs Law smiled in a surprised way as Donna half-ran across to join her. Then she turned to go and, at the last moment, spotted me. ‘And Katherine.’ I thought you liked me , I wanted to say. But she only fixed me with her death-ray eyes and held open the door. I laid the book down and got up as slowly as I could, hoping she might walk on ahead and I could peel off and take sanctuary in the toilets till the coast was clear. No such luck. She ushered us all out, then brought up the rear like a collie.
    ‘God, if we have to do circuit training or something, I’m going to tell her to get stuffed,’ muttered Lissa.
    ‘She can’t make us do PE.’ Alex swivelled her bracelet as she walked. ‘I mean, we’re out of this place in six weeks, forever. What can she do to us, really? Give us lines? I’d like to see her try.’
    ‘She could stop us sitting our exams,’ said Jenny.
    ‘What, for saying no to this lark, whatever it is? I don’t think so.’
    Jenny shrugged.
    We did as we were told.
    When we got to the sports hall we saw there were four sets of equipment waiting for us. In each corner there was a short row of chairs, a stack of clipboards, a crash mat, a pile of newspapers, a roll of parcel tape, a ruler and a small polythene bag containing strips of black plastic. It looked as if we might be going to play some sort of hideous party game. A little group of Lower Sixth came forward to greet us.
    ‘This is my psychology class,’ said Mrs Law. ‘They need you to help them with an experiment.’ I saw Alex roll her eyes and slump against the wall bars, arms folded. Mrs Law mustn’t have seen because she carried straight on. ‘Emily, do you want to explain?’
    A stocky girl stepped forward. ‘Hiya, thanks. Thanks for helping out.’ There were no answering smiles. ‘Yeah, well, what it is, is we want