Free The Wedding She Always Wanted by Stacy Connelly Page A

satisfaction, leaving Emily with the feeling she would regret her far-too-easy capitulation.
     
    Later that evening, after swimming a dozen or so laps in the Olympic-size pool in the backyard, Emily lounged in a chaise. The outdoor lights highlighted the pool’s rock waterfall and the surrounding queen palms, but Emily had long ago aimed a few of the lights in her direction.
    She loved the peace and quiet of the outdoors at night, even in the warmest months. Most evenings she paged through fashion magazines or read a romance novel, but tonight neither appealed. Instead, a legal notepad rested on her bare legs, and she chewed on the end of a pen as she pondered the list in front of her. A single line divided the fourteen-inch page, and each side had a heading. On the left, the words “What makes you happy?” On the right, “What do you want?”
    So far, both sides were pathetically blank. She’d mentally run through her many hobbies and the dozens of activities she’d participated in over the first twenty-eight years of her life. From the pageants to the plays, to the ballet and ballrooms, she couldn’t help feeling she’d done all of it to make other people happy. Her parents, her teachers, her coaches.
    She’d fallen into a habit of doing what was expected, of coloring inside the lines. And as much as she’d love to turn the world upside down, to live life like a Picasso, the page in front of her remained blank, except for the rigid, straight lines slicing across the paper.
    Ripping off the sheet, she crumpled the paper with both hands and tossed it aside. She then turned the legal pad on its side. She drew a new centerline and rewrote the headings against the grain.
    “What do I want?” she asked out loud. The splash of the waterfall echoed her question but offered no response.
    Javy’s face flashed in her mind—his dark eyes and sexy smile. A small shiver raised goose bumps over her arms and legs, despite the ninety-plus–degree weather.
    She lowered her pen, and the tip hovered over the right column. Tightening her grip, she moved the pen to the left side and wrote his name.
    Coward , her conscience mocked.
    You’re the bravest woman I’ve ever met . The memory of Javy’s deep voice blended with the buzz of the cicadas in a nearby tree.
    Straightening her back, she drew a definitive line across his name and moved the scrolling calligraphy to the right side, a feeling of satisfaction and anticipation coming over her with each letter she wrote.
    Emily jumped as her cell phone rang. She normally left it inside when she went out to swim, and she had brought it outfor only one reason. Her heartbeat picking up as she flipped it open, she said, “Hello?”
    “Emily? It’s Javy.”
    “Hi. That was fast.”
    His low chuckle sent another round of goose bumps racing over her skin. “Fast? Sweetheart, I haven’t considered calling a girl moving fast since I was in second grade.”
    Staring at his name written across the page, Emily wondered if she wasn’t the one moving too fast. Refusing to chicken out before she’d, well, crossed the road, Emily said, “I, um, thought you might be calling because you’d talked to your cousin.”
    “I know. I was only teasing. I did talk to Anna, although I would have called you tonight even if I hadn’t. Just to make sure you’re all right.”
    His concern washed over her, and Emily drew her knees closer to her chest, as if she could somehow keep this quivering feeling of anticipation trapped inside. “I’m fine,” she said, even as the toll of a long day threatened to sink her spirits.
    He was silent so long, Emily began to wonder if she’d lost the connection. Finally, though, he sighed and said, “I hate to tell you, Emily, but you’re a terrible liar.”
    Opening her mouth in denial, she gave a soft, guilty laugh instead. “I know. I always have been. Just as well. It keeps me honest.”
    “Now, if there was only a way to make sure everyone else did the