Free Gnome On The Range by Jennifer Zane Page B

rest—the why, the who and how—were still mysteries. I had hoped to go to the garage sale house and get answers. Instead, I only had more questions. More problems.
    And that was just the gnome mystery. That didn’t even include Ty and the mystery of the kiss. It really wasn’t that complicated. It was just a kiss. An extremely hot, steamy, frantic kiss. My bones had practically melted, my brain seeped out my ears. My nipples got rock hard just thinking about it. And lower….
    “Explain to me again your problem with Ty?” Kelly asked. “It was a kiss.”
    I’d told her about the incident behind the fire truck, and she fanned herself with her hand. I felt like I was in high school, talking through make-out sessions with a girlfriend, analyzing it in minute detail.
    Hell, yeah. It was a kiss .
    My cell rang from my bag and I dashed over to it. Goldie.
    “What the holy hell happened?” She didn’t waste time on ‘hellos’.
    I knew what she was asking about and I refused to enlighten her before I yelled at her first. “What the hell is right! Why on earth did you give Ty that box?”
    “I didn’t think you’d do anything about the lack of sex in your life. Thought I might give him a little push.”
    “A push?” I turned away from the other pool patrons and covered a hand over the phone. “Anal beads is not a push! Do you have any idea what he thinks of me now? I certainly don’t!”
    “He’ll think you’re sexually adventurous and open to trying new things.”
    “I’m not into trying anal beads on the first date!” I whispered.
    “Fine, fine. I’ll come up with something a little tamer. Just save them for date three.” Chuckling came across the line loud and clear.
    I tried counting to ten but made it to six. “You will not send him another box.” My voice was two steps below a shout. “If you do…I won’t tell you about the explosion.” A threat was all I had. And it was a weak one as she’d find out all about it from someone else anyway.
    “All right. I won’t send him another box.” She sounded contrite, which meant she had something up her sleeve. Her fingers were probably crossed.
    “Fine. I’m at the pool so I’ll explain it all later. Ten still?” I was supposed to work with her tonight as Veronica, another employee, was on vacation.
    “Please.”
    “How come you never torture Veronica with a box?” I wondered.
    “One lonely vagina at a time.”
    Goldie hung up without a goodbye.
    My mouth fell open and I stared at the phone. Had she really just said that? Lonely vagina?
    I mindlessly waved to Bobby who cannonballed off the side of the pool. I put the phone away, still stunned by Goldie’s words and rejoined Kelly.
    “Hello? The kiss?” Kelly prompted.
    “It wasn’t just a kiss.” I sighed. I couldn’t deny it. “It was way more. Whenever I see Ty I have that sick, nervous feeling in my stomach. There are cute guys out there that haven’t done a thing for me. Like Luke Newsom’s dad from second grade. He’s really attractive, but I feel nothing. But then Ty walks in the room and…zing. There’s a zing I can’t explain.”
    Kelly waded through the shallow water to pick up Emmaline who cried because she got splashed by a big kid. Appeased by her mom’s attentions, the four year old wriggled down out of Kelly’s grasp and went back to her water toys.
    “God, I love that zing,” Kelly said, looking dreamily up at the sky as if she remembered her own special zing. “So, what’s the problem?”
    Exactly. What was the problem? I was chicken. Too chicken to be interested in someone again. Someone who might find me deficient. Unappealing. Like Nate. Life had been plugging along just fine until…zing. Once you get the zing you can’t go back.
    “I need to figure out what’s going on with this ridiculous vial of sperm.” I whispered the last as we were in mixed company. Grown-ups and kids.
    “What does that have to do with the kiss?”
    Crap, I hadn’t