Free Safer by Sean Doolittle Page A

is that I want to go home, not to the regular jail.
    “I’d like to speak for myself.”
    “Very well. The court will note that the defendant elects to proceed without benefit of counsel.” She looks at me as if to say,
I tried.
“Go ahead, Mr. Callaway.”
    My heart is pounding. I feel like I’ve managed to stop afalling axe but the blade is still hovering inches over my neck. I take a deep breath to steady my nerves. It doesn’t help.
    Here’s what I know:
    When the police come to your house to arrest you the way the police came to my house to arrest me, you should remain calm, collect yourself, and take a moment to peruse your arrest affidavit. Here you will find details the police have used to establish probable cause for the warrant itself.
    I don’t know what a typical arrest affidavit looks like. My own is the first I’ve ever seen. It’s two and a half pages long, written more or less in plain English, more or less neatly typed.
    The affiant, meaning the cop who prepared the document, is Detective William C. Bell, Clark Falls Police Department, Sex Crimes Unit. The victim, meaning just what that term commonly means, is Brittany Lynn Seward, age thirteen, resident of 36 Sycamore Court. The accused, resident of 34 Sycamore Court, turns thirty- eight next May.
    According to the narrative, Detective Bell was contacted at his home, by telephone, on the evening of December 14, by a former colleague, retired Clark Falls police sergeant Roger A. Mallory. Upon receiving this call, Bell proceeded to Mallory’s residence, where he conducted an interview with Mallory and the victim in the presence of the victim’s father.
    Supposedly, this interview revealed that the victim had received an e-mail earlier that day. The e-mail contained a short, unsigned message—
When can I open my Christmas present?
— along with a link to a private Web page hosted by a popular online photo-sharing service.
    Here the victim discovered digital images of herself “posed in a sexually provocative manner, each photograph portraying the subject in a further state of undress.” The e-mail had reportedly been sent via a rented computer terminal at a coffee shop near campus. The e-mail contained no sender information but originated from an Internet account registered by the accused.Also in my name: the credit card used to pay for the account at the photo site.
    The receiving address belonged to a free, Web- based e-mail account the victim had established for herself in order to circumvent the parental software used to monitor her regular account at home.
    According to the affidavit, the reality of starring in her own Internet peekaboo show caused the victim to “view previous consensual interactions with Callaway in an altered light.” Fearful of her parents’ reaction should the photographs become known to others, the victim turned for guidance to Mallory, a neighbor and close family friend.
    To Mallory, the victim confessed the nature of her relationship with the accused, a professor of English literature and five-month resident of Clark Falls. Said relationship began with the borrowing of books on the part of the victim, progressed to a reading mentorship initiated by the accused, and developed over time to a state of sexual intimacy. According to the victim, this phase of the relationship included photographing sessions that produced the images in question.
    Everything I know, the judge knows already. It’s her signature on the arrest warrant. Everything after
Go ahead, Mr. Callaway
already feels like a blur. I remember talking to the judge, but even now I don’t remember what I said on my own behalf. I remember the prosecutor talking to the judge, but my brain shut down at the words
Our evidence will show.
    I must have been convincing. Or did the judge look at me and conclude simply that I was too pathetic to be considered a legitimate flight risk? Did the county’s attorney somehow fumble the ball? All I know for sure is that