Free 09 - Return Of The Witch by Dana E. Donovan Page A

old man. That shit don’t work on witches.”
    He wound his hand back and pitched the crucifix at me, missing my head by mere inches. “Damn you to hell! I’m calling the police!” he cried, two-stepping backward as he dialed. “I’m calling them now. I mean it!”
    “You old shit! You almost hit me with that. How would you like it if I….”
    The words were still on my lips when I felt the ground begin rumbling beneath my feet. I turned to Ursula who was standing bent-knee, arms out as if walking a tightrope.
    “Ursula? What’s happening?”
    “I know not, Sister, only that I might ask thee the same.”
    I step ped back, just as the earth opened up before me, swallowing the fence, a shed and a couple of trees in a massive sinkhole twenty feet wide and thirty feet long.
    The old man barely escap ed the crumbling ledge dropping away at his feet. He fell on his ass and crab-walked backward all the way to his house. Seeing good sense in that, I followed his lead and ran back to the porch with Ursula.
    “You know, Urs ….” I took her hand and led her to the side of the house from which we came. “I think we’re done here. We might want to move on now.”
    W hile Crucifix Krueger was busy dragging his sorry butt home and calling 911, Ursula and I high-tailed out of the yard, into the car and down the street as fast as we could.
    “Unbelievable!” I said, giggling at the excitement of the moment. “Did you see that? The ground just opened up and swallowed that shit like it was nothing.”
    “Aye, `twas a chasm, to be sure.”
    “ Exactly. I’ve never seen one just open up like that. You know, that old man’s going to think I caused that.”
    “Did thee?”
    “No. Of course not. That’s not in my repertoire of magick.”
    “ Ooh. Methinks we might return then.”
    “Why would we want to do that?”
    She turned her bottom lip up in a pout.
    “Ursula ?”
    “ Please. Be it so bad that we go back and fetch what gnome I wish for mine.”
    “The gnome? You want to go back for that stupid gnome. No. Absolutely not.”
    “ Oh, but Sister, it doth please me so to think I might save him from a wretched end.”
    “Ursula , you can’t be serious.”
    “ Pleeease.”
    “No. That’s crazy. The cops are on their way there right now. We’d never make it.”
    “I see then, thou art frightened.”
    “No. Thou art not frightened. I’m just saying, the cop s are on their way and we don’t….”
    I made the mistake of looking at her again, her doubtful eyes casting a most disappointing glare my way. I knew what she was doing. She was calling me out, holding me to a standard I had set for myself and tried to set for her. A standard that said to hell with anyone who ever doubted that we could do anything we ever wanted to do.
    I shook my head and smiled, feeling more than just a hint of pride for my foxy little rebel .
    “All right, fine . We’ll do a quick drive-by. You hop out, grab the gnome and hop right back in. I’m not even going to stop the car. You got it?”
    “Oh, Sister, thanks be thee thy blessed heart. On my word, I shall be quick as lightning.”
    “You better,” I warned, “or you’ll have some serious explaining to do to Dominic.”
    We circled the block and approached the house from the other end of the street, hoping to find that the old geezer from next door had gone inside. He hadn’t. Worse still, he had come around to the front of his house, probably to try to get our license plate number when we pulled away.
    I edged the car to the curb and threw it into park. The old man hadn’t noticed us returning, but I didn’t put a lot of stock into believing he wouldn’t see us eventually.
    I turned to Ursula. “Okay, listen. You’re about to commit a crime. Are you sure you want to do this?”
    She blinked back innocently. “Aye, `tis a cute one, that gnome. `E should have a nice home with a good witch, do you not think?”
    “Sure I think, but don’t you think Terri ’s a good