Free How It Is by Samuel Beckett Page B

one senses that
    what is not beyond my powers known not to be beyond them song it is required therefore
     that I sing
    what if I were he I would have said it seems to me in the end to myself but I may
     be mistaken and God knows I’m not intelligent otherwise I’d be dead
    that or something else the day comes that word again we come to the day at the end
     of how long no figures vast stretch of time when clawed in the armpit long since an
     open sore for try a new place one is tempted desperation more sensitive the eye the
     glans no only confuse him fatal thing avoid at all costs
    the day then when clawed in the armpit instead of crying he sings his song the song
     ascends in the present it’s off again in the present
    I withdraw my nails he continues the same air it seems to me I am rather musical this
     time I have that in my life this time and this time on the wing a word or two eyes
     skies the or thee cheers we use the same idiom what a blessing
    that’s not all he stops nails in armpit he resumes cheers done it armpit song and
     this music as sure as if I pressed a button I can indulge in it any time henceforward
    that’s not all he continues thump on skull he stops and stop it likewise the thump
     on skull signifying stop at all times and that come to think of it almost mechanically
     at least where words involved
    why mechanically why simply because it has the effect the thump on skull we’re talking
     of the thump on skull the effect of plunging the face in the mud the mouth the nose
     and even the eyes and what but words could be involved in the case of Pim a few words
     what he can now and then I am not a monster
    I am not going to kill myself demanding something beyond his powers that he stand
     on his head for example or on his feet or kneel most certainly not
    or turn over on his back or side no rancour in me any more no wish any more for anyone
     to have to do without ceasing and without ceasing not be able huge cymbals giant arms
     outspread two hundred degrees and clang clang miracle miracle the impossible do the
     impossible suffer the impossible most certainly not
    merely that he sing or speak and not even this rather than that in the early stages
     merely speak what he will what he can now and then a few words nothing more
    first lesson then second series but first take away his sack he resists I claw his
     left hand to the bone it’s not far he cries but won’t let go the blood he must have
     lost by this time vast stretch of time I am not a brute as I may have said before
     access to the sack that I have my left hand enters gropes for the opener here a parenthesis
    no minutiae no problems but all this time we’ve been together many is the couple would
     be content with it see each other die without a murmur having had their fill
    and Pim all this time vast stretch of time not a movement apart from the lips and
     thereabouts the lower face to sing cry and convulsive now and again the right hand
     for pale green the hour to turn that he’ll never see and those willy-nilly to be sure
     by me imparted Pim has not eaten
    I yes without its being said all is not said almost nothing and far too much I have
     eaten offered him to eat crushed against his mouth lost in the hairs the mud my palm
     dripping with cod’s liver or suchlike rubbed it in labour lost if he’s still nourished
     it’s on mud if that’s what it is I always said so this mud by osmosis long run fullness
     of time by capillarity
    by the tongue when it sticks out the mouth when the lips part the nostrils the eyes
     when the lids part the anus no it’s high and dry the ears no
    the urethra perhaps after piss the last drop the bladder sucking in a second after
     all the pumping out certain pores too the urethra perhaps a certain number of pores
    this mud I always said so it keeps a man going and he clings to the sack that was
     the point to be made I say it as I hear it does it as much as serve to pillow his
     head no he clutches it