Free Redemption by Danny Dufour Page B

and she told me that she was doing well,” he shouted with a note of worry in his voice.
    Actually, she hadn’t done well for several months. Danny could see Chandra wasting away before his eyes for weeks. It seemed to him like she was getting thinner. She was irritable and she distanced herself from him. He had serious doubts that she was using drugs again. She had denied the charges, resisting each time he tried to broach the subject on the pretext that she would see a psychologist again and that he was imagining things. She was only tired. His doubts were revealed to be exact when Katie, her best friend and co-worker, had called him to tell him that Chandra had lost consciousness at work and that the paramedics had rushed her to the hospital. Katie said that she had been pale when she came in that morning. She seemed overworked, a reaction that she had linked to exhaustion and stress. Danny had rushed to the hospital to see the doctor and he asked him:
    “How long has your girlfriend been taking cocaine?”
    “I… I thought she quit. She’s going to therapy. I know she took it months ago. We fought about it. So… it’s not because of stress, then, doctor?”
    “Your friend had an overdose. I’m afraid her problem is more serious than a simple problem of stress. She survived this time, but she was lucky. The next time, it might cost her life.”
    “My god!” he exclaimed, covering his face with his hands. “I… I don’t know how to save her anymore. She resists me… I… I don’t want to lose her, doctor.”
    “It’s not your fault. You can’t fix her problem in her place. You can’t do any more. Those close to people with substance abuse problems often feel the same as you – they feel powerless. She has to take this into her own hands and unfortunately, you can’t do it yourself. One thing is certain, she needs the care of specialists.”
    “Thanks for the advice,” he muttered, watching the wall.
    “No trouble. Take confidence, there’s always a solution. Don’t lose hope, she needs your support.”
    “I know, doc.”
    She slept in a hospital bed where he was inside the room. Her eyes were shut, her complexion pale, with her brown hair that fell along her face. He found her beautiful and pale also. She was nearly unrecognizable after several months. He’d tried to be with her more by reducing his schedule. He had taken time to take care of her until she got better. He thought she was better. She was seeing a shrink, but she refused to discuss it with him. She had said that the best way to help her was to be with her like he was. She opened her eyes when he sat by her bed.
    “Hey. How are you feeling?”
    She looked at him with tears in her eyes.
    “I’m sorry I lied. I was stressed out,” she said, turning her head to avoid his gaze.
    “Never mind all that,” he responded, caressing her face with his hand. “We’re going to find a solution.”
    “No, we won’t! I lied to you. I’m making you suffer because of this too. I don’t want to talk about my problems to spoil what I have with you. I want to protect us. I was raped by my uncle when I was a kid several times and… and… I can’t forget it. I feel dead inside. That's it, now you know. What else can I say...it haunts me.”
    “I’m sorry…”
    “You can’t be sorry, you didn’t know… nobody can guess these things.”
    “Did you report him?”
    “No, I wasn’t able to do it. I felt responsible for what happened and I was ashamed. I could never talk about it.”
    “It wasn’t your fault, what happened. It’s all his. He needs to pay for his actions!” he yelled, angry.
    “He’s been dead for years. And me, it’s impossible to live my life. He destroyed me…”
    “Nothing’s lost. You’re going to get better. I won’t let you not get better.”
    “Danny… I believe that you would be better away from me. I’ll hurt you, I know it. I don’t want to, I want to make you happy and because of me, you