Free Freaks Under Fire by Maree Anderson Page A

bury and I…. Hell, I just needed some closure. And when you came back into my life, I had other things on my mind. Shit, Jay, I can’t believe I didn’t think to tell you—so you could dig it up and destroy it, or something. This is my fault.”
    “We are equally to blame, Tyler. I knew exactly what had been done with the decoy hand I constructed. I watched you bury it.”
    He lifted his chin, a part of him refusing to believe what he was hearing. “You were
watching
?”
    “Yes.” She folded her arms across her chest.
    Wow. Tyler didn’t know what to say—or think for that matter. This was heavy stuff. He would need some time to—
    “Let it go,” his dad said. “You know why Jay couldn’t risk revealing herself at that time.”
    Tyler’s throat was too tight to speak but he managed a terse nod of acknowledgement. Of course, he understood Jay’s reasons. But, as the memories of that dark time in his life hovered, waiting to pounce and drag him under again, it was damn hard to fight the remembered anguish—hard not to feel…. Betrayed. She’d watched him bury what they’d all believed were her sole remains. She’d witnessed how gutted he’d been to lose her, witnessed his pain. And yet she’d remained hidden, silent.
    As though reading his mind she said quietly, “I did as much as I dared to give you hope, Tyler.”
    His gaze strayed to the thumb drive nestled in her cleavage. She’d threaded it on a heavy silver chain and now wore it as a necklace. The only time she removed it was to bathe. That thumb drive stored only one file—a song he’d written and recorded for her. He’d hidden the drive alongside the spare house key before he and his family had fled Snapperton because he hadn’t been able to bring himself to believe she was gone, and had hoped for a miracle. And when his family dared return home, and he’d discovered the thumb drive missing, it
had
given him hope. Even if it had begun to die in the months that had followed before Jay’d shown up to rock his world all over again, that hope had been a precious thing. He’d been a mess, but it would have been so much worse without that small hope to cling to.
    Jay was right: She’d done what she could to let him know she’d survived. Anything more would have endangered them all. He had no right to be pissed at her.
    “I could have refused to let you bury the damned thing.” Tyler’s dad raked a hand through his hair and sighed. He exuded a deep-seated weariness that had Tyler secretly worried.
    “I should never have brought it home,” his dad continued. “But I figured it was safer than leaving it lying around for just anyone to find. And it seemed wrong to leave even a part of you behind after everything you’d done for us, Jay.”
    “Thank you, Michael.” Jay’s slow nod seemed to both acknowledge and dismiss a fraught past that had transformed Mike Davidson into Michael White, a man ripped from his family because of his unique skills, and blackmailed into hunting Cyborg Unit Gamma-Dash-One, AKA Jay Smith and more recently, Jaime Smythson.
    “You must be aware that I could have dug up the hand and disposed of it at any time, with none of you any the wiser,” Jay said. “I chose to leave it buried there because it….” She appeared to be searching for the right words. “It
comforted
me to know that you mourned me—a machine. It gave me hope. It gave me a reason to fight for a dream when it would have been far more logical to inter myself somewhere and shut down for a few decades until the danger to you all had passed.”
    Tyler gulped. She seemed calm enough on the surface but her eyes shone with unshed tears. He knew how hard it had been for
him
, believing that Jay had sacrificed herself to save them and been destroyed in the bomb blast.
    Burying her remains. Discovering a sign she might have survived. Hoping, praying that she would come back to him. And then, when she hadn’t, trying to accept her loss and move on.