Free The Girl in the Comfortable Quiet by Susan Ward Page B

room, angry and alive. Linda starts crying.
    “It’s a girl, Chrissie,” the doctor announces,
turning her toward me then away too quickly as he finishes checking her.
    Kaley is laid on my stomach.
    “Oh my, Chrissie. She’s gorgeous.” Linda starts
kissing me waywardly on my face and I feel tears from her plopping onto me,
mixing with my own moisture on my cheeks. “Thank you for letting me be here
with you for this. It was incredible. Look at that girl!”
    The baby is whisked away too quickly. We both
wait impatiently for the nurse to clean her and give her back to me.
    The nurse sets her in my arms. I stare down in
wonder. “Is she OK? Is she perfect?”
    The nurse smiles. “You have a beautiful, healthy
baby.”
    “Better than perfect,” Linda says
enthusiastically. “Ten fingers. Ten toes. And absolutely beautiful. Look at all
that hair. Listen to her scream.” Her laughter intensifies and she leans in to
stare at the baby in my arms. “Hello, Kaley Stanton. You are amazing.”
    My heart swells and Linda is hugging me and we
are both staring, crying and laughing, mesmerized by my little girl. I touch
her feet. Her hands. Her tiny fingers. The skin of her arms. Her dainty face.
The soft black hair.
    I smile up at Linda. “She is beautiful, isn’t
she?”
    “The most beautiful baby I’ve ever seen. She’s
going to be a heartbreaker for sure.”
    I adjust her against me so I can see her face
more clearly. The medical staff continues busily in the room, and I study
Kaley’s little body, her pudgy arms and legs. So perfect. How can something
this small be so perfect? The line of her brow. Her nose. The shape of her
mouth.
    Then everything inside me goes still. Oh God.
Even I can’t hide from this truth , what I’m seeing in my tiny girl. It
is too distinctive. And instinctively I know it doesn’t matter that her eyes
are blue now, they are soon going to turn dark.
    Once we’re alone, Linda sinks down on the bed.
    A new worry springs from the jumble already in my
head. Fresh tears fill my eyes.
    “Linda?”
    She looks up from Kaley, startled. Her glowing
expression vanishes. “What’s wrong, Chrissie?”
    “What did Molly die of?” I choke out in a barely
discernable whisper.
    Her gaze meets mine, intense shards of rapidly
flashing light, and I can tell she has known just like me since she first saw
Kaley. I just brought into the room what we both haven’t said, but I couldn’t
crush down the rising panic. Not when I looked at Kaley and had Molly pop into
my head.
    Linda’s severe features melt into something raw
and gut-wrenching. “Oh, Chrissie.” She buries her lips in my hair, touching me
once lightly before she whispers, “It was nothing genetic, sweetheart. Don’t be
afraid. Meningitis. That’s what killed her. Nothing is ever going to happen to
Kaley.”
    ~~~
    My
hospital room is so crowded it is suffocating. People, flowers, gifts and food
everywhere. Flowers for me. Gifts for Kaley. Messages for Neil. Food and
champagne for the celebrating family. The avalanche of stuff from Neil’s fans
overfills the space until there is hardly room to move.
    Isn’t there a rule about how many visitors you
can have and how much stuff can be brought into a hospital room? And why isn’t
Neil here yet? It’s been four hours since he was two hours away. 
    I stare. Too many people are here. The Stantons,
Jack, Rene and Linda. I wish they would go away. The waiting is excruciating.
What will happen when Neil sees Kaley?
    Laughter makes me turn my head. Jack is holding
Kaley, his magnificent smile filling his face, and Michelle is chattering away.
They’ve been passing the baby around like a football. I’ve hardly gotten to
hold her. Everyone is so happy. It’s a happy day.
    I choke up and lie down on my bed, curling on my
side.
    Jack looks at me. “She looks just like your
mother. Exactly like Lena.”
    I feel Linda’s eyes heavily upon me. I smile at
my dad. “Do you think so? I don’t