Free Off The Clock: First Responders, Book 1 by Donna Alward Page A

what hit her square in the heart right now was that none of it seemed to truly matter anymore. Jason was gone and she was really okay with it. It wasn’t Jason who dominated her thoughts, both awake and asleep. It wasn’t their life she dreamed about. It was Gabe. Being this close—feeling the old feelings again—it was torture. She wanted him so very badly. So badly it was terrifying. She was so afraid of making the wrong move and ruining everything.
    She switched Nathan to the other side as gorgeous smells wafted up the stairs. When was the last time a man had cooked her dinner? When had she last felt this breathless anticipation? She rocked the chair gently and closed her eyes. Her stomach did a little tumble as she heard Gabe’s step on the stairs, followed by another, and another, until she knew he had to have reached the top.
    When she couldn’t stand it any longer, she opened her eyes and saw him standing just inside the doorway again. This time she didn’t have the time—or inclination—to cover up. Gabe was watching her. She thought perhaps she should be embarrassed, but somehow she wasn’t. Maybe it was the way he stood, relaxed with his weight on one hip. Perhaps it was the hint of a smile she caught just at the corner of his mouth. Or the way his eyes seemed to look like warm molasses as he watched her. She’d made herself comfortable, letting her shirt buttons remain open as Nathan fed from her other side. She didn’t scurry to drape a blanket over her revealed skin. Everything was hidden from view, but it still made her vulnerable. They had to start somewhere, didn’t they?
    Once their eyes met he came in and knelt in front of her chair, putting his hand on Nathan’s downy cap of hair. His palm was so wide it cupped the entire curve of Nathan’s head, his fingers only a fraction of an inch away from her skin.
    “I’m sorry,” he whispered. He’d been looking at Nathan but now he lifted his gaze to Carly, and she fought against the need to reach out and touch his oh-so-serious face. “I don’t mean to invade your privacy. But Carly… I couldn’t seem to stay away any longer.”
    Oh dear Lord. He couldn’t seem to stay away? It was like touching a match to paper, hearing those words. “Gabe…”
    But he put his finger to her lips. “Shh,” he said. His finger moved away and slid down her jaw. “Is it okay that I’m here? I don’t mean to make you uncomfortable.”
    She swallowed. Okay? What was so unsettling was how right it felt and it made warning bells go off inside her head. She’d been right all along. With Gabe it wasn’t just about sex. It was about something so much bigger.
    Nathan had dozed off again and Carly felt her cheeks flush as his lips slackened, exposing her fully to Gabe’s gaze. Without a word, Gabe picked up Nathan and carefully placed him on the middle of the bed. Carly rushed to re-clip the nursing bra, fumbling the clasp in her nervousness, and as a result her blouse was still unbuttoned when Gabe returned to kneel before her. He covered her fingers and pulled them down to her lap.
    “Nothing seems to faze you,” she whispered. “You always seem so in control. So…sure of yourself.”
    “You faze me,” he replied, his voice husky as he knelt before her. “I’ve stayed away because of it. Because I didn’t want to rush things. But today you stepped inside and I knew I couldn’t keep my distance any longer. You make my heart beat faster. You are…” he paused, a tiny crease forming between his eyes as he searched for words, “…you are such a beautiful mother. The way you hold your son, the love in your eyes, the glow on your face. That is so much bigger than me, than anything…”
    Their low voices only added to the intimacy in the room. “What are you saying?”
    He shook his head. “Maybe I’m not saying anything. Maybe I just want to…”
    He let the words go and put his hands on the arms of her chair, leaning in and kissing her.
    And oh