then, Col? You’re not being very articulate.’ She looked around for her handbag. ‘Or is that because all your blood has rushed away from your brain?’
‘That’s a cheap shot.’
‘If the shoe fits.’
He looked exasperated. ‘That doesn’t even make sense.’
‘Forget it ever happened, Col. A momentary slip.’ She found her bag on the floor next to the couch. ‘It won’t happen again.’
‘Ellie, wait.’ He reached out to her.
‘Forget it. We should have kept this to business like we agreed.’ She strode to the door, his footsteps close on her heels.
‘Then why did you kiss me?’ He spun her around so that she was sandwiched between the front door and the expanse of his chest.
Why did she do it? Because after all he’d done she still wanted him as badly as she did before? Because he was the only guy who’d ever been able to get close without spooking her? She’d had two short-term relationships since he’d left and both of them ended the same way: swiftly and without the opportunity for reconciliation. The last guy had left her with a parting shot that stung for weeks and weeks. He’d called her an emotionally devoid robot. The other had said he couldn’t be with someone who was so distant all the time, who couldn’t talk about how she felt, express what she wanted.
‘Why, Ellie?’ he pressed. ‘Answer me.’
She couldn’t do it; her throat closed around the words and stifled them until they disappeared. Her mouth opened and closed, almost involuntarily. She felt herself shut down; it always happened when she was trapped. There was no way for her to express herself that she knew. She couldn’t cry; she couldn’t be honest. So she simply closed up shop and berated herself on the inside.
‘I see.’ He nodded, stepping aside to give her space to leave.
She bit down on her lip so hard the metallic twang of blood seeped onto her tongue. What would a normal person do? They would scream, they would let the feelings out, they would at least say something...but her tongue was a dead weight in her mouth.
He stayed silent as she opened the door and slipped out, shame compressing her chest. For the first time since he left, Elise understood why Col had left her.
SIX
As the sound of her footsteps faded into nothingness Col let out every expletive he knew. He should have guessed her kiss was too good to be true. How could he have let himself slip like that?
He shook his head, leaning back against the door to survey the house and clear his head. Why did he want so desperately to hear the words from her lips? It was exactly the reason he’d called up the PR and Communications Manager at Google to change his mind and say he would come to Australia after all. No, he wasn’t going to do this now. He had a house to clean and business to take care of.
Soon he’d be back in the US and in the comfort of his own home, his own office. An empty ache opened up in the pit of his stomach...but what then? He’d known before he came back to Australia that his life had stalled. He was frequently frustrated, lonely...isolated. The only family he’d ever known was Elise, Rich and their parents. He had no one else, apart from his PR manager, Pete, who wanted him for something other than his fortune. Even Pete was still on his payroll. Elise was different.
But he had to face facts. Elise didn’t want him at all. That was clear from the fact that she could turn her passion on and off like a switch...that wasn’t true feeling. That was a game, but he wanted so much more and nothing would change that.
After Col had filled six garbage bags to the brim and taken them all out to the Dumpster outside, he stood on the front steps looking out into the street. The neighbourhood hadn’t changed much over the years; it was still quiet and while it wasn’t exactly the home of the white-picket-fence dream it was simple and tidy. Unsurprisingly, his father’s house was still the eyesore of the whole