Free New Love by Mj Fields Page B

but I have been on a fucking emotional rollercoaster over the past few months and I’ve done it alone. That’s the way it is and that’s the way I want it to be. Is that enough for you Jade? Was it necessary to do this in front of an audience?”
    “You’re the one who has cho sen not to be around us, Tessa! We’re all friends, and this is your doing.”
    “Jade that’s enough,” Tommy said softly.
    “No it’s not, Tommy,” she said trying not to cry.
    “Yes, it is . I’m fucking done with this conversation,” Tessa sneered.
    “Is this about Lucas?” Jade asked pissed off, “You two ended it nicely.”
    Tessa laughed, “Yeah we did, didn’t we Lucas?”
    He looked over at her, “Tessa, I’m sorry.”
    “Sorry for what buddy?” she asked. “Sorry for wanting to share with your friend s?”
    “What does that mean?” Jade asked.
    “Not now Jade,” Tommy said, “We can talk later—please?”
    Lucas pulled off and stopped at a fast food restaurant, he ordered food for everyone and handed Tessa the bag.
    “I’m not hungr y,” Tessa snapped.
    He rolled his eyes , “You will be.”
    Tessa turned the other way. A few minutes later she grabbed French fr ies and started to eat them. Lucas smirked at her and she smacked him.
    Lucas dropped Jade and Tommy off at their houses.  The radio was playing as he pulled into Tessa’s driveway. Lucas parked and turned off the lights. He sat and watched her sleep. He slowly reached out and touched her curls. He hated watching her tonight, but knew what it felt like to need to just lose reality for awhile. He still loved her and he knew he would forever.  But the reality was he would not let her settle for what he had to offer. She deserved better than him. She deserved better than the band boy too. Fuck. That hurt tonight, he thought . He leaned his seat back and put his arm over her seat and played with her hair.
    Tessa woke up and saw him sleeping and his fingers were wrapped around her hair.
    “Shit” she said, as she hit her foot against the dash.
    Lucas opened his eyes. He looked at her and quickly moved his hand.
    “Sorry, ” his eyes widened searching for her reaction.
    “Thanks for the ride. Y ou should have woke me up when we got here,” Tessa started to open the door.
    “Wait Tessa,” he said , sitting up and grabbing her arm.
    “What’s up Lucas?”
    “Please shut the door , Tessa.”
    “ Lucas, I’m tired and really don’t think…” Tessa started.
    “Don’t think Tessa; just sit,” he closed his eyes and pleaded, “Please.”
    “Ok fine,” she shut the door, he turned down the music.
    “You’re freaking me out.”
    She laughed “Really?”
    “Yes Tessa. You just lost two important people in your life and your smoking pot and ac ting reckless, that’s not you.”
    “It is now.”
    “No Tessa, you’re not thinking clearly, you’re not doing this right.”
    “Then please Lucas by all means, tell me how I should be dealing with this?” she rolled her eyes.
    “Not by getting fucked up,” he said “You taught me that.”
    “Well look at you now. You got through this, I will too. Are you still getting high Lucas? I could use a hook up,” she said sarcastically.
    “That shits not funny coming from you Tessa,” Lucas snapped and took a deep breath. “How would Toby feel?”
    “You don’t get to do that , Lucas!”
    “I’ m sorry Tessa but if he loved you he wouldn’t want you to be doing this to yourself.”
    “Okay I’ m done with this conversation,” she started opening the door, her eyes were on fire.
    He locked the door. “You need to talk Tes sa-- stop!”
    “I don’t want to talk,” she felt the tears starting. “Open the door Lucas!”
    “No I won’t.”
    “Is this because you’re pissed about Ben tonight?” Tessa asked trying to hurt him.
    “Nope actually , it isn’t,” Lucas answered. “It’s about you and your loss of both of them. God… I’m so sorry for everything you have gone