Free Keep Holding On by Susane Colasanti Page A

it was impossible. My lips just did not want to leave his lips.
    Instead of going straight to Spanish after study hall, I had to go see Mr. Gilford. He needed to confirm that I don’t have a class fifth period. He gave me a special pass that says I’m allowed to be in the lit mag office fifth period and after school. Then he gave me a late pass for Spanish. Which is a small price to pay for being crazy with lust.
    Normally, I hate making entrances. Being late is a whole different thing when you’re me. When Pretty Perfect Popular girls come into class late, they’re fine with everyone looking at them. Why wouldn’t they be? They have perfect hair and perfect skin and perfect clothes. If I had any of those things, I’m sure I wouldn’t mind all those eyes on me. But today is different. Today I’m wearing my new top I got at the mall.
    As soon as I saw it on the rack, I knew we were meant to be together. The soft, clingy fabric. The soothing sky-blue color. The low cut that wasn’t low enough to get me sent to the principal’s office. I even had some bangles painted with sky-blue and violet flowers that Sherae gave me to go with it. And I’m wearing my jeans that actually fit.
    I hover outside Spanish. Mrs. Yuknis is saying how a bunch of people didn’t do their homework and so we can’t do the activity she had planned. Or something like that. My Spanish skills really are lacking.
    I go in. Everyone stares.
    Including Julian.
    Mrs. Yuknis comes over. I give her my late pass.
    “¿Tiene la tarea?”
    I admit that I don’t have my homework.
    “¿No? ¿Por qué no?”
    Somehow I think
Because I didn’t feel like doing it
isn’t a good enough reason.
    Eyes are still on me. I’m still standing in front of the whole class like Exhibit A of a dork display.
    Mrs. Yuknis goes off on a tirade about how it’s only April and we need to stop acting like the year is already over and get off our lazy butts and do our homework. Or something like that. Of course I had to come in late on the day she’s having a snit fit.
    I can feel Julian’s eyes on me.
    I take my time walking to my desk. Then I turn slowly before sitting down so Julian can see the way this top clings to my curves. Not that I have major curves. But at least now he can see that I have some.
    I spend the entire class hoping that Julian will come up to me after. When the bell rings, I put my things away slowly.
    “Hey,” Julian says.
    “Hey.” I can feel the heat of him next to me. I have no idea what is preventing my desk from bursting into flames.
    “You look nice.”
    I look up at him. How many times have I looked up at Julian like this, with him so patiently by my side? Why is he even talking to me? I totally rejected him. It’s like nothing fazes this boy.
    “Thanks,” I say.
    “New shirt?”
    “Yeah.”
    “I thought so.”
    I get up and sling my bag over my shoulder. My shirt rides up. I tug it down. It clings to my breasts. Which seemed like a good idea in the dressing room. But now I’m embarrassed.
    Julian and I are like two inches apart. I can feel him breathing. I can also feel him looking at me. I can only look at the floor.
    “Can I get by?” a girl coming in for the next class says. We’re blocking the aisle.
    Julian touches my arm. He guides me to the door. I let him walk with me touching my arm for the nine steps it takes to get to the door. They are quite possibly the most daring nine steps I’ve ever taken.
    “See you later,” he says.
    “Yeah. Later.”
    When Julian walks away from me, all I can think about is getting close to him again.

    I triumphantly stride past the cafeteria on my way to lit mag. I even give it the finger. Well, I give the wall the finger. Doing it in the doorway would be a bad idea. With my luck, Warner Talbot would see and think I’m giving him the finger.
    There are two girls working at computers in the lit mag office. I think one’s a sophomore. She doesn’t look up from her screen. The other