Free Dead Man's Bones by Susan Wittig Albert Page A

to Colin’s place. He’s going to help me rehearse some of my scenes, and he’s cooking. We’re having grilled salmon.”
    “Now, that’s a real man for you,” I said, pretending to be envious. “He’s good-looking, he has his own business, and he’s a gourmet.” I gave her a teasing grin, and then said something I shouldn’t have. “I’ll bet he’s good in bed, too.” The minute the words were out of my mouth, I regretted them. Ruby would think I was prying, and tell me to go to hell.
    But she didn’t. “Oh, absolutely,” she said without hesitation. “He’s the kind of lover every woman dreams about.” Her voice softened and her eyes grew blurry. “He makes me feel like a young girl again, China, all soft and romantic. For me, it was one of those wonderfully instantaneous things—love at first sight.”
    “Don’t get carried away, Ruby,” I said cautiously, wishing she hadn’t been so quick to climb into the sack with him. I’ve done my share of that in my time, and have learned that sex never fails to complicate an already complicated situation. It’s a lot harder to get out of bed than it is to get in. “Nobody’s perfect. And love isn’t instant, you know. You don’t just add hot milk, stir, and serve.”
    “Colin might not be perfect, but he’s close enough. If only he . . .” Her voice dropped, her shoulders slumped, and she looked away. “If only I could make him love me.”
    I began to be alarmed. This was dangerous stuff. “Listen, Ruby, I know how you feel, believe me. But please don’t rush into anything.”
    “How can I rush?” Ruby wailed plaintively. “It takes two to rush.”
    “Not necessarily,” I said. From one love affair to the next (and there had been several), Ruby never quite remembered that for her, falling in love was like falling over a precipice, and with just about the same result. Smashed dreams, splintered hopes, and a broken heart. I took a deep breath. I didn’t want to violate her privacy or get involved in her intimate life, but I could at least try to plant a question in her mind. “Maybe it’s not very smart to commit yourself before he—”
    “I wish you wouldn’t try to tell me what’s smart and what isn’t, China Bayles!” Ruby flared angrily. “You’ve got McQuaid. I don’t have anybody. Not a soul!”
    “That’s not true,” I objected. “You’ve got Amy and Shannon and me and Sheila and—”
    “Amy and Shannon are kids, for Pete’s sake!” Ruby cried, flinging her hair back. “They’re my daughters! And you and Sheila are just friends, and both of you are always busy. I want a lover, China! I’ve been living alone for years, and I’m sick of it. I’m lonely down to the very bone. I need somebody to love.” Her voice quavered and tears filled her eyes. “And I need somebody to love me. Somebody like Colin, who doesn’t care whether I have one boob or two.” She gulped back a sob. “You’re not going to tell me there’s something wrong with that, I hope.”
    Ah. So that was it. A while back, Ruby had breast cancer. She had elected to have a mastectomy and had said no to reconstructive surgery because she didn’t want an alien substance inserted into her body. Colin’s willingness to accept and admire her as she was, complete with one breast rather than the standard-issue pair, would be enormously important to her. He would be important to her, and nothing I could say would make one iota of difference.
    I felt myself overwhelmed by compassion, mixed with both fear and hope. I had found McQuaid; I hoped that maybe this time, Ruby had found someone who would fill her needs, fulfill her desires. But something inside me was frantically waving a red flag, and I couldn’t help feeling afraid for her, too. I didn’t know Colin Fowler well enough to make judgments about him, but—
    I stopped. Ruby was sweet and vulnerable and very dear to me. For better or worse, she had launched herself wholeheartedly into another