Free Winter's Tide by Lisa Williams Kline Page B

beach in winter. She said the beaches were empty, and she liked being able to let Jelly run. The ocean and sky, she said, were moody and beautiful.
    I thought about Grammy lying in the hospital, and suddenly the lovely mood and thoughts vanished, andI felt my eyes begin to tear up again. I remembered the fight Diana and I had had the night before. I still couldn’t see how she could be so unfeeling toward Grammy. I didn’t want to be around her. Everything she said and did grated on my nerves.
    â€œHow far is the beach?” Diana asked Daddy as we sat around Grammy’s counter eating cereal. “I want to take Jelly for a walk there. Then he’ll like me.”
    â€œOnly a couple of blocks,” Daddy said. “I think Grammy normally drives her golf cart down there.”
    â€œOoh. Can I drive the golf cart and take Jelly for a walk?”
    I felt like saying, “Grammy is in the hospital and all you can think about is how you want to walk the dog,” but I just concentrated on eating my cereal.
    â€œNot this morning.” Daddy stood up, placing his napkin beside his plate. Of course Diana didn’t even notice how different Daddy was acting since Grammy had gotten sick. He looked pale and drawn. He hardly saw us when he looked at us. “I need to get back to the hospital. They say the doctors usually come by mid-morning, and I want to be there to talk to them.”
    â€œNorm,” Lynn said, “why don’t I stay here with the girls while you go to the hospital?”
    â€œBut I want to go to the hospital,” I said. I wanted to be by Grammy’s side and hold her hand.
    Lynn looked at me and put her hand on top of mine. “Okay, honey.”
    So it was decided that Daddy and I would go to the hospital and Lynn and Diana would stay at the apartment with Jelly. As I got ready to go, Diana lay on her bed watching me. I went through my clothes, trying to decide what to wear, but couldn’t concentrate. I had a headache from crying so much last night. Just the decision of what to wear seemed overwhelming. And Diana watching me was getting on my nerves.
    â€œYou’re still mad at me, aren’t you?” Diana asked.
    Sighing, I started to brush my hair. My usual response would be something polite like, “No, I’m not mad,” but I wanted Diana to know the truth. That’s what sisters did. They told each other the truth. “Yes,” I said. “I’m mostly upset about Grammy. I’ve never seen her sick before, and it scares me. And I don’t know why I expect you to be upset since you don’t know her very well, but it makes me mad that you’re not upset. And I feel guilty, because I felt so relieved to get out of going to the hospital to visit Matt. But if something terrible happens to him, it’s going to be awful.” I put my hairbrush down on the dresser and gestured nervously. “I can’t talk about it anymore now. Maybe later.”
    I put on my coat, wrapped my pink scarf around my neck, and left her lying there.
    â€œWe’ll call and let you know what the doctor says,” Daddy said as he kissed Lynn good-bye. “And then we’ll come get you for visiting hours this afternoon.”
    In the car on the way to the hospital, Daddy hardly talked. We had to drive across two bridges on our way, and each time, I looked down to watch the choppy, shifting whitecaps, thinking about how cold it must be. I didn’t see any boats.
    â€œI’m proud of you for wanting to come and be with Grammy,” Daddy said as we crossed the second bridge.
    â€œHow long will she have to stay in the hospital?” I said.
    â€œI don’t know,” Daddy said. “I hope we’ll get answers to a lot of our questions from the doctors today.”
    I remembered then the feeling of panic that I’d had in the elevator last night, thinking that Grammy might die. I wanted to ask Daddy if Grammy