Free Uncle John’s Heavy Duty Bathroom Reader@ by Bathroom Readers’ Institute Page B

felt like it .
    M ATTHEW McCONAUGHEY
    During the 2001 Toronto International Film Festival, the actor was watching his film 13 Conversations About One Thing when one of the characters on the screen asked, “Why do you want a doctor?” Just then, a member of the audience yelled, “Turn on the lights! We need a doctor in here!” A woman at the screening had fainted, due to dehydration. Like a true action hero, McConaughey rushed over and began performing mouth-to-mouth resuscitation. According to Toronto police, he actually helped save her life. Said actor Alan Arkin, “She woke up and saw him kissing her and now we know why she [passed out].”
    TOM HANKS
    As bride-to-be Natalia Dearnley tried to get to her wedding in Rome in 2008, a movie crew filming Angels and Demons was blocking access to the church where the groom and guests were waiting. Dearnley was told that she would have to wait until the day’s filming was completed to get through. Hanks, the film’s star, heard about her predicament and asked director Ron Howard to stop filming. Then he escorted the starstruck bride across the road to the church. (He even held the train of her dress to keep it from getting dirty.)
    DEMI MOORE
    Late one night in April 2009, Moore was checking her Twitter account when she saw this post from one of her 37,000 followers: “Getting a knife, a big one that is sharp.” Then she posted another one: “gbye…gonna kill myself now.” Moore checked the profile and discovered it was an unemployed Silicon Valley woman. Moore quickly wrote to her: “Are you serious?” No response. Moore then reposted the message on her website alerting anyone in San Jose who might know this woman. Moore’s fans flooded the police department with calls; the cops located the distraught woman and took her in for psychiatric evaluation. Two days later, the woman reappeared on Moore’s Twitter page: “Going to pay it forward!!! Starting today, no more pity party!”
Profession most often portrayed by Oscar-nominated actresses: prostitute.
    KEANU REEVES
    In 2003 Reeves, who starred in The Matrix trilogy, gave away $74 million of his salary to the “unsung heroes” of the films—the special effects crew. The 29 people who worked for years on the project received $2.5 million each. Reeves, who has also donated millions of dollars to leukemia research, downplayed the good deed: “I could live on what I’ve already made for the next few centuries.”
    PAUL McCARTNEY
    In 2003 a New Zealand singer named Glenn Aitken was performing at a restaurant in the hotel where McCartney happened to be staying. After the show, the former Beatle approached Aitken and told him how impressed he was with his vocals. Aitken thanked McCartney and explained that he’d been trying to get a record deal for years, to no avail. “I’ll see what I can do,” said McCartney. Not only did McCartney get a record deal for Aitken, he played bass on one of the tracks. “It was so monumentally incredible,” said Aitken, who grew up idolizing the Beatles. “I find it almost impossible to put into words.”

    NIGHT OF THE DRIVING DEAD
    Rescue crews in Portland, Oregon, were called to the scene of a single-car accident one summer evening in 2010. When they arrived, they were alarmed by the extent of the injuries. The victims’ faces were all bleeding; their skin was white, as if they were dead, and blood and guts were smeared all over their clothes. It was quite gruesome.
    Or was it? It turned out that, when the accident happened, the five people were on their way to a costume party, all dressed and made up like zombies. Said police Sgt. Greg Stewart, “We’re glad that everyone is alive, despite being undead.”
Missing link? Humans have 46 chromosomes; potatoes have 48.

KEITH MOON,
BATHROOM BOMBER
More than 30 years after his death, the Who’s drummer, Keith Moon, is still remembered as one of the best in rock history. And as more than one hotel chain learned to their regret,