Free LeftInTheDarkness by Stephani Hecht Page B

see the faces of the jocks as they circled him and Christian, hear the hurtful threats thrown their way, felt the panic and fear that came with the realization that there was no escape.
    Most of all, though, Taylor felt the betrayal. Not so much from his brother, because he long ago had come to the realization that his family never would accept him. No, it was that James had found it more important to keep in his big secret than to save two of his friends.
    For all James had known, the jocks could have killed Taylor and Christian. Shoot, they almost had succeeded as far as Taylor was concerned. The only reason Christian made it out okay was because he knew how to fight back. Even then, he still got hurt, and it would have been worse had their friends not shown up to help.
    Devlin carefully lay down next to Taylor and put an arm around his shoulder. The gesture felt so familiar. There had been many times where Taylor had run to Devlin after a beating or another one of his mom’s episodes. Each time, Devlin had been there, too, and always offering comfort and a shoulder to lean on.
    “I know I should hate him,” Taylor said in a near whisper.
    “I know I should, too,” Devlin replied.
    “Sometimes, I think I was the luckier one in this whole incident.”
    Devlin shot off an are-you-crazy look. “In case you missed it, you’re the one who ended up in the hospital.”
    “Yeah, but at least I still have you guys. James is facing all this alone.”
    “Even more so since he made a big deal of coming out,” Devlin replied.
    “Yeah, I heard about that.”
    “He could have picked a better time than when they were holding that vigil for you.”
    Taylor snorted. “Please, they may have said it was for me, but we know better. It was only so they could feel a little less guilty about the poor gay boy who almost died. If they had really been supportive, then they wouldn’t have treated me like shit all those years. Until you guys and Christian transferred, school used to be hell for me. On a good day, I only got hit once, and all my money taken. I don’t even want to talk about what happened on the bad days. Do you know I still can’t walk into the bathrooms because of all the stuff that went down in there? I hold it in until I get home. How pathetic is that? A guy who is too terrified to take a piss because he’s afraid of being picked on.”
    Angry, frustrated, and sad, Taylor wanted to lash out. Call him Sally Field, but he wanted to hit somebody…he wanted to hit them until they hurt as much as he did. And damn it, there was no Ousier around for him to smack around.
    “It’s okay, the bathrooms are way overrated anyway. They smell like smoke, and the hand soap sucks,” Devlin said as he rested his cheek on the top of Taylor’s head. “And you’re not alone anymore. If you have to take a piss, just find me, and I’ll watch your back. I won’t ever turn on you.”
    There was a slight catch in Devlin’s breath during that last sentence, and it made Taylor wonder how hard this was hitting his friend. James was his cousin, and whether Devlin wanted to admit it or not, there had to be all kinds of emotions tied to that.
    “Have you talked to him?” Taylor asked.
    “No, he left me a few voice mails, but I haven’t felt like returning them yet. It’s not just because of Christian, either.” Devlin tightened his grip. “You mean a lot to me, and all I can think about is how close I came to losing you. All that might have been stopped if he’d just stepped forward and stood up for you and Christian.”
    “Maybe, or else it could have been him that ended up here instead of me,” Taylor reasoned.
    “Right now, I’m wishing that’s the way things really were.”
    There was a long pause after Devlin dropped that little bombshell. Not that Taylor thought less of him for saying that. Devlin said a lot of crap when angry that Taylor knew he really didn’t mean.
    “I wish that it was my brother here instead of