Free Springtime Pleasures by Sandra Schwab Page B

“Or would it be considered unladylike to carry a blunderbuss on one’s person?” She leaned forward and whispered confidingly, “I have the most awful time to sort such things out if you must know. My friend Emma-Lee thinks me a hopeless case.”
    “Ah,” Lady Isabella breathed, and fainted.
    Charlie blinked. “Oh dear. Whatever have I done wrong this time?—Eh, groom? Groom !?”
    ~*~
    Miss Carlotta Stanton to Miss Emma-Louise Brockwin, by Two-penny Post
    My dearest Emma-Lee,
    are you in need of a pistol? I obtained another one when some ruffian tried to rob Lady I. and me in the Park this morning. But never fear: I taught him the Error of His Ways. Still, the number of ruffians in this part of the country is shocking , I find. I have decided to carry my blunderbuss with me at all times & thus must needs sew myself a larger reticule.—Lady I. told me the most shocking story about Lord Chanderley, her brother (whom I met at the F’ham ball), & the older Chanderley, who, it w’d seem, was too stupid to drive a phaeton & got himself killed. I think it is monstrous that poor Chanderley (current) is blamed for his brother’s idiotishness. No wonder the poor man’s complexion is already marred by lines! He told me he was an Indifferent Dancer, but I daresay it’s the Ghastly Treatment he receives from his family that has thrown him into a Blue Funk. For who doesn’t like Balls & Assemblies?
    Yours most affectionally, C.
    PS: Do you know where to obtain ammunition for firearms?
    PPS: Do you know whether wild boars are considered a fitting topic for Conversation in Polite Society? Lady I. looked at me most strangely when I mentioned them. I hope I did not disconcert her.

Chapter 5
    in which our heroine receives a call
    & resolves to take dire measures
    The next morning, Miss Carlotta Stanton received a call. It was the first ever caller who had come for her in her London Season, and Aunt Dolmore was suitably confused when he asked to see Carlotta instead of her own daughter. Whatever could Viscount Chanderley want from Charlotte of all people?
    True, he had danced with the girl at the Featheringham ball, but then many other young gentlemen had danced with her as well, and so far none of them had deemed it necessary to call on her. And why would they, when the girl was afflicted with such unfashionable tallness? Truly, she must seem like a giantess to the gentlemen! And to everybody else, of course, too. It was only to be hoped that the girl’s embarrassing height would not have an adverse impact on Caroline’s chances, especially as Mr Clarke, the future Baron Moreton, had shown some interest in her.
    All things considered, it was imperative that nothing stood in the way of Caroline’s chances this Season, so it was most heartless of Mr Dolmore to insist they launch the girl that had resulted from his sister’s embarrassing mésalliance into society. What would people think? More importantly, what would Mr Clarke think? Only because Mr Dolmore had promised his sister—a most ungracious and impertinent young woman—to look after the girl? It was preposterous!
    But of course, Mr Dolmore refused to see sense, even though she had impressed upon him in the strongest possible sense how very important this Season was for his own daughter. Men so often didn’t understand such delicate situations. She was almost certain that Mr Dolmore didn’t understand this one. But—oh!—once the bloom had vanished from poor Caroline’s cheeks and she was past the first blush of youth and bound to… to… spinsterhood , the poor, poor girl, because her suitors had been frightened away, Mr Dolmore would be sorry. He would be sorry indeed.
    So when Viscount Chanderley called to see Charlotte, Mrs Dolmore might be puzzled, yet at the same time she knew when to grab a chance that was thrown her, or rather, Caroline’s, way. True, Chanderley was not the best catch of the Season—not even the third, fourth or fifth best, if truth