PAINTS THE PARKING LOT PINK
While I paint
my motherâs fingernails and toes.
Then, out of the blue, she says,
âThat Dr. Hack was a real hunk.
But he had the most god-awful chuckle,
didnât he?â
It takes me
a few minutes
to stop laughing.
Then my mother says,
âDid you bring any photos ofâ¦ofâ¦â
She pauses, trying to remember.
âOfâ¦Sabrina?â she finally says.
âYou mean Samantha?â I say.
âThatâs what I said,â she murmurs.
So I pull out my recent favorite shotâ
taken in the backyard
just before Sam left for college.
âLook at those eyes!â she says.
âI swearâone glance from that child
could turn winter into springâ¦â
But then she peers more closely at the picture,
furrows her brows, and asks,
âWhy does your pepper tree look so bare?â
My pepper tree�
A jolting emptiness fills my chest.
âOh, Momâ¦â I say, my voice cracking.
âWhat is it, dear? Whatâs the matter?â
She reaches over to circle me with her frail arms.
âIt got sick, Mom. We had to cut it downâ¦â
Tears well up in my eyes.
âThat must have been hard for you,â she says.
âIt was,â I say. âIt was so hardâ¦â
My mother pats my back,
rocks me,
lets me cry.
When I finally quiet, she says,
âYou need to go home now, Holly.
Go home to Michael and plant a new tree.â
And, of course,
she is exactly
right.
THE NEXT MORNING
I stop in to see Dr. Gold, before
heading down the hall to see my mother.
He sits behind his deskâ
his eyes as merry as Christmas.
He tells me that after just one shock treatment
not only has my motherâs appetite returned,
but the physical therapist says she was finally
willing to participate in rehab this morning.
He says heâs confident
that with just a half dozen more treatments
and maybe a month or two of rehab,
heâll be able to send my mother home.
âHow can I ever thank you?â I say.
Dr. Gold smiles at me and says,
âJust send me a batch
of Samanthaâs brownies.â
And, as if on cue,
my cell phone rings,
and Samanthaâs name
appears on the screen.
I hold up the phone to show the doctor.
He raises an eyebrow and says,
âI hope it was her ears that were burning.
Not her brownies!â
And when he begins chuckling
at his own little joke,
Iâm struck by the lovely, quiet sound of itâ
like water flowing over smooth stones.
I STEP OUTSIDE TO TAKE THE CALL
Samantha says
sheâs walking though the quad
looking up at the bell tower,
and that it looks
exactly like a postcard
of how a college should look.
And just then,
the bells begin to ringâ
great booming, echoing, peals of them.
She laughs and says,
âAnd it sounds exactly like
a college should sound!â
She says the leaves are falling.
She says the air is frosty.
She says, âThank you, thank you, thank you!â
She tells me
she canât believe
how lucky she is.
And I tell her
I canât believe
how lucky I am.
AS SOON AS WE SAY GOOD-BYE
My phone rings again.
I check the number
and see thatâ shit! âitâs Roxie.
I let it go to voice mail.
But a second later,
it rings again.
And this time itâs Alice,
sounding oddly breathless.
âOh, Holly,â she says,
âIâm so glad you picked up.â
And right away, I know
that something is very wrong.
âAlice,â I say. âWhatâs the matter?â
âItâsâ¦itâs Michael. Iâm sure heâs
going to be totally fine, but Noah and I
just drove him to the emergency room.â
An orderly brushes past me,
pushing someone lying on a tableâ
someone entirely covered with a sheetâ¦
My knees begin to quake.
âOh my God, Alice. Whatâs wrong with him?â
She tells me that they arenât sure yet,
but that