Free Confessions of a Backup Dancer by Tucker Shaw Page B

that they’d made up this whole story about me not having any dance training, which got under my skin, big time, because as previously stated I’ve had 350 years of training. but I didn’t really have a chance to dwell on it too much. so i just squealed and hugged her. you know, kind of like how people greet each other at the airport. for some reason it just seemed like the thing to do at the time. it was K.K.’s squeal, not Kelly’s. darcy was like so what should we do first, best friend? now that we do everything together?
    I was like I don’t know. and then she goes, “is there anything good on tv?” and grabs my remote and starts flipping around. she picks up the phone and goes, “waiter? WALTER? can you bring us some corn nuts and diet dr. pepper? CORN NUTS!! no, not barbecue, plain, the big bag. yeah. also some chicken. do you have any fried chicken? you do? I knew it. you rule. ok, I’m in shania’s old room. no, shania’s not here anymore. the new girl isK.K. yeah K.K. she’s my best friend now, didn’t you hear? her name is K.K. … K.K.! ok. bye.” I was thinking, Corn nuts? Gross, then I noticed my stomach growling and realized they actually sounded delicious. I mean Darla’s little diet is making me crazy for food. any food.
    anyway then Darcy looks at me and goes, “it’s cool if I hang out in here tonight, right? I’m so bored with my room and I haven’t talked to Jess—” she cut herself off before she finished the thought, which was a little frustrating. I mean if I’m going to be her best friend, shouldn’t I know whether she and jesse are “just friends” or more?
    then she started flipping the channels again. MW was doing a special on her. “Oh Lordy, they’re using that footage from when I was Female Hottie of the Millennium at the Teenz Rule Awards! Ew! do you think my hair looks better than Jessica Simpson’s? Do you think she ever wears a wig? Do you think I should?” then she started flipping again and didn’t stop until she hit The Wizard of Oz, which was on some random family cinema cable channel. it was that first scene in munchkinland and she’s bursting into “We REPRESENT the Lollipop Guild! The Lollipop Guild!” and she’s like don’t you LOVE the munchkins?
    my inner kelly wanted to be like, no, actually, they scare me and I had nightmares about ’em when I was a child. oh and also I was asleep before you came in here. but K.K. was like yeah they’re so cute! I even squealed a little.
    she goes “That’s where I got the inspiration for ’Love You Like a Lollipop!’” I was just thinking something tellsme that connection is probably lost on most people when they hear your song, but ok!
    then I was like wait. can this be? can the biggest pop star in the world, the Female Hottie of the Millennium, role model to girls everywhere, wet dream to boys everywhere … can darcy barnes really be this boring and dopey? where’s the booze? where are the boys gone wild? where’s the girl I know so well from “celebrities uncensored” not to mention “behind the music”? where are the true Hollywood story moments already?
    a minute later a commercial came on and I just blurted, hey, about this clipping. how come Eileen made me seem like such an untrained dancer? I took like 350 years of lessons, I mean 12 years, I mean I don’t care but it’s a little strange. Darcy didn’t know what I was talking about so I read the clipping out to her. I was like Eileen knows what my real story is. how come she made this one up?
    â€œOh, that,” said Darcy. “We just thought it would be a good angle. everyone has a story, you know? I mean, it’s not that big of deal, it’s not like anyone’s really going to check up on you or anything. I mean, it’s better for everyone if we figure out