Free Louise Rennison_Georgia Nicolson 08 by Love Is a Many Trousered Thing Page A

looked at him. I wasn’t going to smile at him, if that is what he thought. He was too full of himself and his red bottomosity. But he would not get me to…oh blimey, I have accidentally given him my full nostril–flaring smile! Damn. He linkedup with us all and then his two mates did the same so that we looked like we were doing the hokey-pokey. I hope we didn’t have to negotiate any lampposts or the elderly insane.
    He said, “Trot on, girls. Do you like my new trainers? I feel like Jack the Biscuit in them.”
    They were quite cool, as it happens.
    One of his mates, Declan, was linked up to Ellen, and he said, “We had a laugh today, there was a minor rumble in the corridor because Phil the Nerd and his mates tried to be top dog in the lunch queue. So clearly he had to be binned. Excellent.”
    I knew I shouldn’t ask, but somehow I did. “What do you mean he had to be binned?”
    in my bedroom
    I know that I have said this many, many times, but boys are a bloody mystery. Apparently when they get bored, boys go on a “binning” session. They got Phil the Nerd and put him botty-first into a litter bin. As soon as he managed to heave himself out, his “mates” put him back in. Then when he got out again, Dave and Dec and company turned up and put him back in again. And so on until the end of break. Why?
    5:30 p.m.
    I hate to admit this because of my position as mate to Dave the Laugh, but there is something that goes on in the jelloid knicker department when I see him. He’s sort of familiar somehow, and he does make me laugh. But shut up, brain, because mates do not snog or even think about snogging. That is le fact. I have too many maybe boyfriends to worry about without thinking about Dave the Laugh and his snogging abilities. Which I’m not even thinking about, by the way.
    two minutes later
    I was just thinking about when I first snogged him at the Fish party. That really was the beginning of my red-bottom phase. I blame him. He started me on the slippery slope with his lip-nibbling techniques and so on. But I will just LET IT GO because he is not on the snoggees list, he is just a boymatetypefandango. Which is good.
    one minute later
    I wonder what number he has got up to with his “girlfriend.” He never mentions her. Mind you, I never mention her.
    I wonder if she mentions herself.
    I wonder if she has ever asked him about me.
    She isn’t with him much; perhaps he has dumped her.
    ten minutes later
    A lot of thumping on the stairs.
    â€œCome on dollyboy, Josh boy, bring pussycat in here lalalalalalalala. Pussycat pussycat where have you beeeeeen, I’ve been to London to see a sardine!!! Hahahahahahaha.”
    My door crashed open and a very red-faced sister loomed round. She had Gordon by the neck and he was struggling like billio. Yeah, good luck, furry chum. She had her other chubby little arm around the neck of her “boyfwend” the unfortunate Josh. Libby lobes Josh. She treats him just like the rest of her toys (Pantalitzer doll, Angus and Gordy, Scuba-diving Barbie, Jesus, Sandra, me), really really badly. The only difference is that as yet she hasn’t been able to remove bits of his body. Pantalitzer doll is quite literally just a head now.
    â€œHeggo Gingie, my Gingie, I LOBE my Gingie. Kiss Joshie the dollyboy.”
    â€œNo, Libbs, I don’t think that Josh wants a kiss,and you are holding him too tightly round his little neck his head is going red, isn’t it, Joshie?”
    Libby smiled her alarming smile. Lately she has taken to opening her eyes really wide when she does it and sticking her teeth out, like a bonkers hamster who has just seen a really big carrot.
    â€œHe laaaikes it.”
    And she dragged them off into her room. If I hear sawing noises, I will go in. Although why I have to take responsibility I don’t know. What are my “parents” doing? If they aren’t interested in