Free Dirty Little Freaks by Jaden Wilkes Page A

let me get my phone.” I jump off the bed and reach for my purse. Holy shit, it’s 4:38 now. “Uh, it’s not that bad,” I tell him. “It’s almost five.”
    “Fuck, are you kidding?” he says and sits straight up in bed. “Where’s Diesel?”
    “Uh, I assume he’s with Eva,” I reply. “What’s the hurry, do you turn into a fucking pumpkin or something?”
    “I, uh, I have to be somewhere,” he tells me, but I know he’s lying about something.
    My walls immediately go up, the drawbridge withdraws and the gates slam shut. He’s lying to me about something. Does he have a girlfriend?
    “Uh huh,” I say and open my dresser drawer to find my cozy pyjamas. Looks like this is taking a turn for the worse, I might as well cuddle up with my extra pillow and forget this ever happened.
    He stands up and walks to my side. “Listen,” he says, “we have rehearsal at ten. If we show up late one more time, the studio is going to stop renting us the space. It’s important.” He pulls me into his embrace before I can grab anything, so our naked bodies end up melded together again. I release a deep sigh and rest my head on his chest.
    “Ok…it’s ok. I have a tendency to overreact,” I say, letting myself open up a teeny tiny bit, once I go into emotional lock down, it takes a lot to drag me out. “It’s a bad habit of mine.”
    “Have you been hurt before?” he asks and rubs his hand up and down my back. I shiver and can’t help the heat building in my pussy. His touch is magic to me, it’s fucking insane.
    “I don’t get hurt,” I tell him, “I keep myself closed off so I don’t have to go through shit like that.”
    “Ah, I see, you keep your walls high,” he smiles and holds me against him. He kisses the top of my head and says “Don’t worry, babe, I’m not going to hurt you. I promise.”
    I want to believe him, I really do. I want to let myself go with him and feel everything my body is aching to feel. But I can’t, somewhere inside, that part of me that grew up with an alcoholic mother, who can spot a lie at a thousand yards...well, that part of me won’t shut the fuck up. Something’s not right here, and I know it.
    But I don’t care, not right now. I’ll keep my guard up, but I can’t say no to this man. I need to have more of him, inside of me, on me. I need to wake up next to him, to smell like him, to wear his over sized tee shirt while we make scrambled eggs in the morning. I am craving living out one of my Plenty of Fish relationship fantasies, and I can’t help myself.
    I snuggle into the embrace, inhale the scent of him, of us, and say, “I believe you.”

Chapter Four
Chai Tea and Playing it Cool

     
    I breeze into work a few minutes early the shift after I met Hush. I am still walking a foot off the ground. Pathetic, right? I basically slept all day yesterday, I woke up occasionally to think about Hush and rub one off before going back to sleep. At around five I heard my phone buzz and rolled over to grab it, my heart doing a little jump. I was rewarded with a text from Hush. He was all like “hey babe, I can still smell you on my fingers, when’s the next time? xoxox”
    I hate that he could make or break my day. I didn’t reply though, I remember Eva’s success with men, how ignoring them seems to work. Then again, I always ignore men afterwards and they don’t chase me at all. I decided I’d send him a message from work, where I was safe from the desperation of begging him over to fuck me right then and there.
    “Hey Jag,” I say to my surprised boss. “What? Can’t a girl come in early for a change?” I smile; the look on his face is worth me being here ahead of time. If I am being honest, I might admit that I came in early because I’m dying to text Hush the moment my shift starts. But I’m not generally honest to myself, so I’ll just pretend traffic was good and there was nobody on the bus today.
    “Holy shit, I don’t think you’ve ever been on