Free Pieces of Paisley by Leigh Ann Lunsford Page B

I want to give her privacy to get herself together and they created quite an audience during their show down. She isn’t really speaking, and her wails are sending shooting pains through my chest and I feel as if I may rip in half hearing her anguish.
    “Beautiful, calm down. I am sorry for all of it. My part in it, her part in it, but mostly I am sorry you are hurt. Come here.” I pull her tighter to me and try my best to calm her. After minutes pass she seems to gain her composure.
    “How can she say that to me and expect me to be okay? I don’t know what to do, Jake. She is my best friend, and she is in pain, but causing me pain out of spite isn’t fair. I am so mad and then I feel so guilty for being mad when she is hurting.”
    “You have to let her work it out. She has to come to terms with whatever is bothering her, and you can’t fix it. You have to let her go, Pais. I know you don’t want to but right now you aren’t good for each other. You can’t give her what she needs, and she can’t give you what you deserve. It sucks, and I hate it happened tonight of all nights, but you have to believe you will eventually work it out. Just not right now.” She doesn’t want to acknowledge I am right, but she knows I am.
    I pull her back to me and just hold her. I want us just to be right now, right in this moment, I want to show her I can be what she needs. She is more than I deserve, and all I want. “I have your birthday present, want to open it?” She gently nods against my chest, and I shift her so she has to look at me. “I love you, Paisley.”
    “I love you, Jake.” I hand her the box. I didn’t wrap it, didn’t get a card, but I got her a gift that shows her what she means to me. She opens it and pulls out the solid gold heart on a slim chain. I see her eyes sparkle, and she smiles. “Thank you.”
    “This is what you represent to me. My heart, and it is solid because your love fills mine. You are my heart, Paisley, and I want you to wear it always and know I am here with you.” She reaches up and holds my cheek, and ever so slowly leans towards me and takes my mouth in a kiss. In this kiss it feels more, it feels like a promise, a vow, an eternity, she is promising me.
    “Can we stay out here for a little while?” She asks me, and I just settle her back and pull her as close as I can get her. She leans up and turns on the radio. Lee Brice is singing ‘Hard to Love,’ and I swear this song is about me, begging her to love me regardless of all the shit I give her.
    “Pais, you know when I deploy it will only be three weeks, but I won’t be able to talk to you every day. There will be no reason to write because the letters won’t get there in time, but I just want you know I will be thinking of you. I want you to remember everything during that time, write it down, so you can tell me about it when I get back. I just don’t want to miss any part of your life.” I don’t know why it is so important to me, I just want her to hold on to us, look forward to sharing her moments with me, maybe then I know she won’t forget about me or decide this is too hard for her.
    “I promise. My days will be busy, but I am afraid of the nights. I haven’t gone to sleep in almost four months without your lips giving me a goodnight kiss, or your voice being the last thing I hear. It terrifies me, Jake.”
    “What scares you the most?”
    “You deciding this is too hard. You know the saying a girl in every port.”
    “Paisley, have you been researching military terms?”
    “Sort-of. We haven’t had sex, and I don’t want you to get away from me and see there is so much more you can have.”
    “What if I tell you that you are all I want? I mean it. You. Are. It. For. Me. Which brings up another topic . . . I will be gone for Thanksgiving, and I know your parents won’t let you leave for Christmas, but I want to go home. I miss my mom, but at the same time I don’t want to miss our first Christmas.