Free Like a Mule Bringing Ice Cream to the Sun by Sarah Ladipo Manyika Page A

how upset I’ve been by everything happening in Nigeria recently. So when that email came, I just believed it was genuine. I thought the money would go to the victims. But then, of course, when I realized my mistake, well I didn’t want to bother you. You have enough on your plate as it is. I’ll be much more vigilant from now on, I promise.’
    ‘But I’m always here for you, Morayo, and so is Ashok.’
    ‘I know, darling, and I’m grateful, I am.’
    ‘So look,’ I say, seizing my chance. ‘You know how you just mentioned that your apartment needs cleaning? Which means it’s not just me being OCD, right? So while you were in hospital I got a friend to help me sort through some of your stuff, the stuff you don’t need.’
    ‘Stuff?’
    ‘Well mostly, like old papers. Except unfortunately, there was a small misunderstanding and some of your books, but just a few, got thrown out.’
    ‘My books!’ Morayo exclaims.
    ‘Just some. And only those that were falling apart. You had mice in your apartment, Morayo, and they were eating your papers and even some of your books.’ I hesitate, but seeing her alarm I keep talking. ‘I asked Francisco to get rid of the old papers because they were in a really bad state. Remember how we’d sorted through them last year? But then, unfortunately –’
    ‘You got rid of things without me being there!’ she cries, her face darkening with disbelief. ‘I didn’t want to, Morayo, but it was unhygienic and I just thought it would be helpful.’
    ‘Helpful?’ she shouts. ‘But why couldn’t you wait? How could you possibly know what’s important to me and what’s not? That’s my life, Sunshine! My books!’
    ‘I’m sorry, Morayo, I’m sorry. I was trying to help. You’ve just got so many books. You’ve even got more than one copy of some of them.’
    ‘Well of course I do! Just like you have dozens of pairs of yoga pants and lipsticks and shoes, don’t you? How would you feel if someone went through all your “stuff” and got rid of what they thought were just duplicates or extras? Just because you would never buy more than one fucking book doesn’t mean others wouldn’t. Doesn’t mean there isn’t a very good reason why I do!’
    ‘That’s not what I meant,’ I stammer, thrown by her swearing. ‘I said I’m sorry. And when it happened I did my best to get it all back. I don’t know what else to say.’
    ‘But what’s ”sorry” going to do? How’s that supposed to help? It was just reckless of you. Stupid and thoughtless.’
    ‘Thoughtless?’ I cry, snatching my bag and car keys. ‘Yes, okay, I’m stupid and thoughtless and you’d probably be much better off with a conservator.’

13
    At first, all I could do was to stare at the door after it banged shut. Then I let out such a cry of anguish that Bella must have heard me from outside.
    ‘What happened?’ Bella calls, panic in her voice as she runs in. She tugs at the sheet covering my head. ‘Did you fall?’
    ‘No,’ I manage, turning reluctantly from where I’d buried my face in the pillow. ‘I’m okay.’
    ‘Your friend has gone?’
    Yes, I nod, trying not to start crying again. Bella takes my hand. ‘I’m sorry,’ she says. ‘You know, sometimes it’s good to cry. Let it all come out.’
    And for several more minutes this is all that passes between us, me sobbing and she squeezing my hand. And then Bella tells me that God loves me, which almost sets me off again.
    ‘I think it makes a difference to believe in God,’ she says, ‘because the people who don’t trust God, when those people are getting old it’s more difficult because they get angry. Everything is bothering them and they don’t understand the rest of the people.’
    I nod, reminded of my father, as she speaks.
    ‘I think,’ she says, ‘well, I was thinking of building a place in my country. You know, a place for getting old. But better than here, because in my country, in Nicaragua, you have already