Free Major Karnage by Gord Zajac Page B

paraphrasing.”
    “That still don’t explain why I’m here.”
    Sydney sat down, braced her fingers against the floor, then lifted
her body, balancing her weight on her fingertips. “It’s like this: Brass
claims you’re more than old Sydney can handle.” Sydney bounced on
her fingers a couple of times. Once resettled, she was balancing on
just her pinky fingers. “And I aim to prove them wrong.”
    “And you’re gonna do that how?”
    “By kicking your ass,” Sydney said. “In a fair fight, of course.”
    “That doesn’t sound too rational.”
    “Never said it was, mate.” Sydney stood up and stretched her
neck. She bounced on her toes. “You ready?”
    Karnage felt the weight of the Sanity Patch against his neck. “I’d
be up for this more in the morning.”
    “You trying to be funny?”
    “I couldn’t be more serious.”
    “Sorry, mate. We don’t got all night. Just do your best. I’ll go easy
on you at first. Let you get warmed up.”
    “You’re too kind.”
    “Thanks. Don’t let that get around.”
    “Won’t tell a soul.”
    “Appreciate it.” Sydney shook her body out, then lowered into a
crouch. She stuck out her pinkies like she was holding twin cups of
tea, and rose to the tips of her toes. She nodded once. “Here we go.”
    And then she was on him.
    Fingers and toes flew at Karnage with blinding speeds. Karnage
dodged, bobbed, danced and weaved. Once he was too slow and a
pinkie brushed his side. His vision exploded in black dots as pain
shot through him. He gasped and struggled to stay upright enough
to dodge a follow-up baby toe heading for his neck.
    He’d never seen anyone move like this before. It was like a
martial arts version of shiatsu. Sydney knew all the right pressure
points to cause extreme pain in the body. It was brilliant. It was
like ballet, except it didn’t suck. Sydney’s every move was graceful.
The lines of her attack were beautiful. Karnage had never enjoyed
fighting someone so much in his life.
    That joy was tinged with worry. He’d never had to move so
fast. He could barely keep up with her frenetic pace. It burned
him up inside that he couldn’t fight back. Not that he’d seen many
opportunities to do so. Once or twice he thought he saw an opening,
but they closed so fast it became obvious they were carefully laid
traps. Had he made a move, he would have exposed himself for a
crippling blow. Karnage had never seen Sydney’s equal. She was an
artist.
    They moved back and forth across the room, swaying and bobbing
and weaving in a violent dance of bear and doe, the doe attacking
and the bear defending, clumsily dodging each finely thrust hoof
and horn. Karnage scrambled to avoid a toe that seemed to sneak up
on him from behind Sydney’s back. He heard a yelp from behind as
Tiny shouted, “Hey! Watch it! You almost hit me!”
    “Stay out of my way and you won’t get hurt!” Sydney barked.
    “Easy for you to say. You guys are all over the place. Hey!”
    Karnage saw Tiny scramble to one side. That gave Karnage an
idea. He worked on dodging and ducking, moving in a slow arc
towards Tiny. Sydney made it near impossible. Her every attack
demanded specific precise counter-manoeuvres. But slowly, Karnage
moved them back in Tiny’s direction.
    “Quit comin’ towards me!” Tiny screamed.
    “Quit getting in my way!” Sydney yelled back.
    Karnage heard Tiny scrambling behind him again. He ducked
between two fingers and a toe while sliding out his back leg
for balance. He felt the knocking of a leg as Tiny stumbled into
Karnage’s foot. Tiny squealed as he fell. Another toe raced towards
Karnage. Karnage grabbed a handful of Tiny and pulled him on top
as a human shield. Karnage heard a crunch and a scream as Sydney’s
toe slammed into Tiny. Tiny went still.
    “Sorry, mate.” Sydney patted Tiny on the shoulder before tossing
him off Karnage and relaunching her attack.
    Karnage rolled across the floor. A