time.”
“Yeah, easy for you to say. We drive like the devil to get to Paris, then are all knackered the moment we go on stage.”
“It’s okay,” Dianne said. “I’ll drive.”
“You sure?” Cam asked.
She nodded. “He’s right. You lot need to keep it together for your show. I’ll be your chauffeur. It’s the least I can do.”
“Do you even know where we’re going?” Dan sneered, unwilling to provide even the smallest thanks for her offer.
“Duh!” Dianne pulled her phone from her pocket. “No, I’m just a silly little girly. I don’t know how to use Google Maps. Any of you idiots care to tell me where we’re meant to be heading?”
Tony laughed and reached out a hand for her phone. “If you’ll be so kind, young lady, I’ll happily be your navigator.”
“I thought I was going to be riding as her wingman,” Cam said with a mock sigh. Tony stared at him.
“You need to stop thinking with that gigantic cock of yours, Mister Fraser. There’ll be plenty of time for you to go riding after our gig tonight.” Suddenly sighing, Tony turned back to Dianne. “I don’t suppose there’s still a chance for you to ask Janey to fly in, is there?”
Dianne laughed at this and James blushed, but Dan scowled. “Come on, you fucking numpties. We have to get a move on, like now !”
Tony shook his head as Dan opened the door to get out and make way for Dianne. “Now if there was someone who needs more to get laid like now ,” he said quietly, “I have yet to meet him.”
After several hours driving, however, even Dan was impressed with how Dianne handled herself. His own flight to Dover had been something of a mad, reckless rush, but behind the steering wheel Dianne never lost her head. Instead, she managed to negotiate even the trickiest parts of the route with élan and they arrived in the centre of Paris with hours to spare.
“According to this,” Tony said, “the hotel’s about fifteen minutes walk away from the club where we’re playing, Notre Dame . We can drop our equipment off there and have time to freshen up before we’re on stage.”
“That’d be great. I’m starving,” said James.
“How the fuck do you stay so skinny?” Dan asked. “You’re always eating.”
“I’m not!”
“Yes you are. All you’ve been doing since we’ve been on that boat is stuffing your bloody face.”
When the pulled up before the nightclub, Dianne tried to hide her look of disappointment. Glancing around at the rest of Black Ark, she realised that they were all being less diplomatic —all but for Cam who maintained a stoic expression, his handsome face like a rock.
“Is that it?” Tony asked. “We came all this way for that ?”
“What a fucking dump,” Dan grumbled.
“I’ve seen better,” James agreed.
“Come on,” Cam said with a sigh. “This is where we’ve been hired to play, and this is where we’re playing. Let’s get our stuff set up then head to the hotel.”
Certainly Notre Dame was much smaller than Dianne had expected, and somewhat dingier.
“Oh well,” she said as cheerfully as she could muster. “I guess it has the whole grunge thing going for it.”
“And Optima is such a crusty band,” Tony said sarcastically. It was the first time that Dianne had seen him looking anything other than exuberant. “Do you think Darius knows about this?” he asked Cam quietly.
Cam frowned. “He must do. I mean, it’s his management who booked the place.”
“If you say so.” Tony added nothing more, but his expression indicated that he was unconvinced.
After a sound check indicated that the sound system was at least better than the decor, they were glad to get to their digs. That was when they saw the hotel.
“You are fucking kidding me!” Dan lifted his hands to his face in despair, rubbing his eyes as though to make the vision of the fleapit they were booked into disappear. When he pulled his fingers away, unfortunately it remained very much where it