Free Hot Tea by Sheila Horgan Page B

attracted that new guy she’s dating.”
Potential sons-in-law and/or potential grandchildren trump all things financial. 
Yes, I’m just that good.
Mom’s attention immediately shifted to Teagan, “Love, you haven’t mentioned a new man in your life.  Tell me all about him.  When are you bringing him by for a cup of tea?”
Teagan’s nervous laugh was cute, and an obvious stall.  Just as she was about to speak, up walked Father Parker.  Mom asked him to join us.  He graciously accepted, bless his heart, liver, and lungs; the man is a saint.  Or will be. 
Of course, the subject of conversation changed immediately.  Memories of grade school, Father Parker, or Billy as we call him, went to school with Teagan.  She had a major crush on him in about the sixth grade.  He was always kind, but had already made up his mind to be a priest. 
I think she still has a wee bit of a thing for him.  I can imagine her, imagining herself, ripping off that collar and showing him what he’s missing.  Ok, that was more than a little twisted, and even if I was not able to keep myself from thinking it, I shouldn’t have shared.  I need to learn to keep one or two things to myself.
Billy was still sitting with Mom when we escaped. 
At least we picked up the check on our way out the door.
 
I answered the rather loud knock on my door, “You handled that quite well.”  Teagan showed up again, this time with cinnamon rolls in hand.  If she doesn’t go back to work soon, we are both going to weigh 800 pounds.
“What was there to handle?”
She dumped the rolls on the dining room table and said; “I thought it rather clever to turn the attention from your business endeavors to my love life.”
“According to you and Mom, I have no business endeavors.  According to what you said this morning, you have no love life.  You said you guys hadn’t even gone out on a real date yet.  How does that qualify?”
She wiggled her eyebrows and said, “Do you think AJ is my only admirer?”
“Heavens no.  I’m an admirer.  I just don’t think that there are any other guys in the pipeline right now.”
“And what makes you think that?”
“You’re here.”
She pulled back both sides of her mouth at the same time.  When I do it, I strongly resemble a duckbilled platypus. When she does it, she just looks cute.  I wonder if I could surreptitiously swab the inside of Mom’s mouth for a covert DNA test.
She said, “Good point.  Shall we start looking for information on Mrs. Rosenbaum?”
“It’s Mrs. Lily Ivy-Rosenbloom, and I’ve decided that although that was a lovely plan, and probably would have worked, it is time to go to Plan B.”
“I thought there was no Plan B.”
“There is now.  I found it on the Internet.  I told you you could find anything on the Internet.  I found the perfect way for me to make money.”
“Oh Lord.  Did you find one of those get rich quick schemes?  ‘I made $250,000 last year working two hours a week, while having my feet rubbed’.”   She really did a great impression of the girls on one of those infomercials.  She really should start a stage act.  I can see it all now; Teagan Shannon O’Flynn stars in impersonations of all things annoying .
She droned on, “Cara, those things never work.  They aren’t real people, they’re actors paid by the day.  Truth be told, they have extraordinary talent as actors, don’t know for the life of me why we don’t see them on the big screen.”
Exasperated, I huffed, “You think of me as an idiot.  I’m not going to get involved in some quasi-pyramid scheme where the only one getting rich is the one at the top of the food chain.”
“Mixed metaphor.”
“No, it isn’t.”
“Pyramid.  Food chain.”
“What about the food pyramid?”
“You’re hopeless.”
I shrugged, “Maybe, but it makes me interesting.”
“Interesting is a good word for you.  Are you going to share Plan B with me?”
I took a calming breath, “I’m