Free Having It All by Maeve Haran Page B

neglect. She was going to
crucify me. So I decided telling the truth was my only option.’
    For some reason she didn’t mention Susie’s part in all this. She hadn’t decided what to do about her yet and she knew David would fire her on the spot.
    ‘So you had a little sob on Steffi Wilson’s shoulder instead?’ The resentment in his voice felt like a razor blade slicing at her raw nerves. It was partly her fault that he
didn’t understand. She’d never tried to explain how she felt torn in two even to herself, let alone to him. Could she blame him for being angry when he’d had to find out from a
newspaper, and a rival one at that?
    ‘I suppose you realize how ridiculous you’ve made me look?’
    She could tell he was struggling with his temper in front of Susie and the children. ‘My wife’s having a mid-life crisis and I’m the last to know.’ He threw the paper
down on the kitchen table. ‘You could at least have given
us
the story instead of the bloody
World
!’
    Liz looked at her husband, hurt that he seemed to be seeing it simply in terms of who got the scoop of Liz Ward baring her soul. All he seemed to think about these days was the paper.
    ‘I’m sorry I didn’t give it to the
News
.’ She heard the answering bitterness in her own voice. ‘Maybe when I announce my resignation I’ll come to you
first.’ But the irony was lost on David.
    ‘Everyone in London knows that the
World
is decimating us. Logan’s brought Mick Norman in as “Special Adviser” waiting in the wings to pounce if this slide goes
on, and you hand them the moving story of your secret sadness on a plate.’
    ‘Everyone in London may have known that, but not me. Because you didn’t tell me, David. I’m your wife and I’m the last person to know. Maybe if you had told me all this
wouldn’t have happened!’ She knew it was cruel, but she felt suddenly, blazingly angry. ‘And you’ve been so caught up with your stupid circulation war that you
wouldn’t have noticed even if I
had
been having a mid-life crisis!’
    David took his feet off the table and came over to her. ‘I’m sorry. I’m being a selfish shit.’
    ‘Anyway, it isn’t a bloody mid-life crisis. I just miss the children, that’s all.’
    As if on cue, Jamie rushed into the kitchen to find his parents in each other’s arms.
    ‘Mum . . . Mum! Come and see the paddling pool!’
    ‘Jamie, I’m trying to talk to Daddy, darling. I’ll be out in a minute.’ Poor Jamie, he was always competing for her attention these days. She stroked his hair
lovingly.
    Seeing her ruffle Jamie’s hair, David felt the stirrings of guilt. They looked so lovely together. Jamie was so like her, dark hair, bright blue eyes, long limbs, extrovert one minute, shy
the next. Daisy was the one who took after him. Blonde-haired strutting little Daisy who knew what she wanted and went for it. He wasn’t sure he understood Liz. She seemed to keep changing
her mind about what she wanted.
    ‘I’m sorry, darling, but I’ve got to rush.’ David put his arms round them both, sorry he’d been angry with her, loving her, mystified by her. ‘We’d
better talk about this later.’
    ‘Yes,’ she agreed, kissing him, but coming to the painful realization that he didn’t understand, not really. And when would they talk? When did they ever get any time to talk
about anything these days? One or other of them was always working late or unreachable under a mountain of meetings, business deals and endless decisions to make.
    She took Jamie’s hand and went outside to the garden. Only nine a.m. and it was already hot, the sky clear and blue. England was like a foreign country again. The Greenhouse effect. Global
warming. It might be melting the polar ice caps and bringing hurricanes to the Caribbean, but it was very nice indeed in Holland Park.
    Susie had filled up the paddling pool and put it in the shade of the apple tree. Daisy stood next to it wearing only a sun-hat.