Free The Willingness to Burn by J. P. London Page A

canceled on Wednesday and due to her incredibly lucky schedule, that meant that she was done with school by 1:30. Maddy attended school at the prestigious Penn State University. That was before all of the scandal, when the words Penn State were a status symbol, one of envy. And at a mere two hours from her childhood home, it was the perfect location for a girl in her shoes. With any luck, she would be able to leave right from class and beat any of the holiday rush traffic that everyone else would be stuck in.
    When Maddy arrived home, Sarah was the only other person in the house. She pulled open the door and walked in. Maddy dropped her bag by the staircase and considered going outside to drag in the larger bag of laundry, but she knew that a smile and a kiss would get Daddy to do it for her.
    Instead, she plopped down on the couch and awaited her sister. Sarah was home. Her car was outside. She must have heard Maddy come in the door, and Maddy could hear her shuffling around upstairs.
    Sarah appeared at the top of the steps and started walking down.
    “Hey,” Maddy called up the stairs as the sound of footsteps grew closer to her.
    “Hey, what’s up?”
    “Oh, you know.”
    “Yeah, how’s school going?” Sarah asked as she hit the bottom of the stairs
    “Schools great. Class? Ehh …” Maddy shrugged and smiled, taking her legs off the couch so her sister could join her.
    “How’s things on the home front?”
    Sarah’s face sported a forbidding expression.
    “That bad, huh?” Maddy asked.
    Sarah came and sat down next to her. “Okay, look, Mom made me promise not to say anything until you were home for Thanksgiving.”
    “Well, I am home for Thanksgiving,” Maddy said, sitting up straight.
    “I know, and I don’t want you to get ambushed so that’s why I’m going to tell you.”
    “Fuck. Tell me what, Sarah?” Maddy said with growing impatience.
    “Mom has cancer.”
    The words dropped from her lips and landed in Maddy’s ears with a deafening tone. Sarah continued to speak but the muting thud of the word cancer overtook all other sounds. It was just lips moving. Maddy’s mind was focused on her mom, the memories with her mom. The good, the bad, and the awful. The years of life that she took for granted. Just as a parent might regret not seeing a child as they grew up, a child then regretted not loving a mother.
    A few hours later, Diane and Bill came home. Maddy heard the truck pull up and two doors close. Dad always drove when the two of them were together. There was almost no exception to that at all. She stood up, and for the first time since she had been a little girl, stared at the door with ominous anticipation. She’d had a few hours to process, a few hours to accept it. She was certain that she would be fine, but when the door opened and Daddy walked in followed by Mom, she knew she wasn’t.
    As soon as her blue eyes met their match, the eerie reflection that Diane always spoke about seeing in Maddy, Maddy, on that day, saw it in Diane. She broke into tears and walked up grabbing her mom in a loving embrace of fear and grief over her past transgressions.
    Maddy held on tight, hoping that the grip would hold her tears as well, but then overwhelming emotion rose up inside her and poured over just as a flood does a dam and she began to sob on her mother’s shoulder.
    “Okay … It’s okay,” her mom said. “It’s going to be okay.”
    Maddy broke from her mom’s embrace and tried to speak, but no words would come. Nothing came but lost sentiments, found in the form of nearly muted sounds and gargles.
    Her mom pulled her in and hugged her again. “We’re gonna be okay,” she whispered.
    Diane walked Maddy over to the couch and sat down. Her father joined her as well.
    “Okay, so cat’s out of the bag, huh?” Diane said trying to make light of the situation and shooting a look over to Sarah. She wasn’t going to tell anyone besides her husband until the holiday for just that