Free Sound of the Tide by Emily Bold Page A

trembling, I quickly reached them out for the teapot.
    A dog was barking, and I pulled my feet up under my knees. The furnace was running now, but still the house wasn’t really getting warm. No wonder, given that the door had been open for half the day today. I glanced at the fireplace and decided to tackle that next. Not tonight, because it was too late. But I would make a fire. Someday.
    Again a dog barked. Suddenly curious, I stepped over to the window. The darkness of the night swallowed the transition between water and shore, and the rocks were only slightly paler than the foam-topped waves. Still, I could see the dog clearly as he barked at the onrushing waves and threw himself into the freezing cold waters. He backed off right away, shaking out his fur, but he kept trying to intimidate the incoming tide by barking.
    I couldn’t help but smile. Without hesitation I grabbed the blanket from the sofa, wrapped myself up tight, and stepped out onto the back porch. The wooden deck was slippery, and the icy sea breeze stung my cheeks, but the fresh air did me good. Hopefully it would relax me, too.
    The handrail felt rough and wet under my hands. The scent of the salty air was strong, carried all the way up to me by the strong wind.
    The Labrador retriever was still frolicking in the waves, bouncing between the sea and the icy beach. The dark shadow of a man approached, and he bent down to the dog. I laughed out loud when the dog shook himself like crazy and sprayed the man with water. He shouted in surprise.
    The laughter died in my throat when I realized it was Ewan. I would recognize that deep, booming voice anywhere, and I caught myself pushing a few stray strands of hair back into my long braid. It was a silly thing to do since I was shrouded in complete darkness and, if I didn’t draw attention to myself, it was highly unlikely that he’d even notice me.
    For quite some time I kept watching as he play-fought with the dog, laughing when the Lab, utterly fearless, threw himself into the freezing waters. I sighed. I wished I could be that happy and worry-free. Yes, truth be told, I envied Ewan his carefree laughter. I thought back to Daniel, how he had never taken anything seriously enough to know true worry. His laughter had sounded a lot like Ewan’s—only I would never again get to hear it.
    Lord Almighty, I would never be able to tackle this depression head-on if I didn’t start thinking positive thoughts. With gloom chasing away my newfound coziness, I started shivering under my blanket. Still, I did not want to go back inside just yet. I could no longer see Ewan or his dog, and I was now feeling as empty and deserted as the beach below. They must have gone back inside. I was sure he didn’t mind being alone in his house.
    So why was it so hard for me? The absurd hope of getting a friendly conversation started in the middle of the night with my new neighbor—which would hopefully make me forget that I needed to get through this night alone—made me dash through the house and yank open the front door.
    I searched up and down the street and peered over to his house. The lights were on, and I could see something move behind the curtains. Great, just great! He’d gone back inside already. Crestfallen, I went back in, closed my door, and rested against it.
    I couldn’t. Be alone, I mean. I probably never would be able to do it, given that I couldn’t even manage to turn on the goddamn light.
    “Shit!” I whispered, and it sounded strangely hollow because the bare walls and uncurtained windows offered only a heartless echo. I inhaled deeply, held my breath, and resolutely stormed over to the light switch.
    My fingers were resting on it, trembling, but still I could not bring myself to turn it on.
    Instead, I lowered my hand and reached for my cell phone.
    It took only a couple of rings.
    “Hey, it’s me. Can you come over? I need you.”

L ONELY
    December
    A re you sure you don’t want to stay here?”