Free Bliss Week: Yield and Surrender (Interview With Loose Women Series) by Safira Page B

the
bastard's exact words. I told myself to leave but my feet didn't move. The
place was crowded now and we were pushed together. Everything he said to me he
ended with "slut."
    I: Like what?
    S: "Having a good night, slut?"
"Getting enough attention with that shirt, slut?" I surprised myself
that I didn’t walk away. It was all so new to me. Usually when guys approached
me they were nervous and complimentary. I kept talking to him, but I wasn’t
really friendly.
    I: How long did this last?
    S: Just a few minutes. Then he said, “You seem like
the type of slut that bites her lips when she’s fucked.” And that’s when I
walked away and he yelled the magic word after me.
    I: What did he say?
    S: He said, “Come on, it says right on your chest
you're a slut, so prove it."
    I: So if he had phrased that differently, without
using the words "prove it," you would have kept walking?
    S: Yes.
    I: So you went back to him...
    S: Yes, and I was much more friendly this time. I caressed
his face and asked how he would like me to prove it. He told me to say
something dirty to him. I drew a blank and hesitated. He laughed and said,
"Actions speak louder than words. Come back to my place and prove
it." We looked into each other's eyes for a long time; he was trying to
call my bluff. I finally said, "Ok, let's go," and he immediately led
me by the hand out the club.
    I:  So just like that you had decided to sleep with
him?
    S: Well no, I hadn't explicitly decided that yet. It
had just happened so fast and suddenly here I was outside, following him. We
were walking in silence and suddenly he stopped and pinned me against the wall
and kissed me hard. When it ended he said, "You know I'm gonna fuck you,
right? You can go back if you want." He walked ahead of me without looking
back and I stood there deciding whether to keep following him or not.
    I: What was going through your mind?
    S: Lots of calculations were going through my mind.
I was thinking that no way would I sleep with a guy I had just met, it was just
not something I imagined I would ever do. I was thinking about my boyfriend. I
was thinking that this guy didn't deserve to kiss me like that after being so
rude to me. But I was also thinking that I had never failed to complete an
assignment in my life. I was thinking that the three other girls wouldn't make
the sorority after all that work because of me. I was also thinking that this
seemed a little adventurous and exciting and even sexy. He was almost half a
block ahead of me now and I was still standing there against the wall. And
that's when I consciously decided it.
    I: To have sex with him?
    S: Yes. I walked quickly in my heels and caught up
with him, grabbed his arm, and walked alongside him.
    I: Were you talking as you walked.
    S: No, we just walked. It wasn't that far to his
place. When we reached it he opened the door and I walked in after him. He
closed the door behind him and grabbed me from behind. He took a fistful of my
hair from the base and pulled until I was looking up at the ceiling. His other
hand was on my breasts over the t-shirt. He gave me some dirty talk and started—-
    I: Do you remember what he said?
    S: I remember exactly what he said.
    [Silence]
    I: You're not going to tell me?
    S: Um, could you like look down at your papers or
something when I tell you? Don't look at me.
    I: Absolutely.
    S: He said, "Slut, you have a pretty face. That
face is too pretty to face fuck. But since you're a slut I'm gonna do it. I'm
gonna fuck your pretty little mouth, slut."
    I: Jesus. Anything else?
    S: He said he was gonna fuck me with the taste of
his cum in my mouth.
    I: Anything else?
    S: He asked if I knew his name. When I said no he
said, "That's right, you're about to fuck a guy who's name you don't
know."
    I: Anything else?
    S: He asked if I had a boyfriend. I said yes.
    I: What did he say to that?
    S: He asked if my boyfriend knew his girl was a
slut. I shook my head. He said, "I bet he makes love to you. I'm