Free Pygmy by Chuck Palahniuk Page A

word
phthisis
.
    Venerated instructor crack thick volume text, eyeballsscrub, hunt page, search most difficult word, contain most number alphabet.
    Ranked awaiting word, operative Oleg insert elbow against rib cage operative me, tilt head nodded to indicate female student, say subject youth absent menses since five week. Request say how many American ovum enjoy the seed of this agent?
    Next now, best important instructor screw eye tight to rest on operative Tanek. “Please spell ‘oocephalus.’”
    Operative Tanek incline so place mouth adjacent microphone, say for celebrated instructor please to utilize
oocephalus
embedded context sentence.
    Honored instructor wrap own face within spread finger both own hands. Exhaust oxygen of lungs one prolonged blast. Eyes squeezed, tilt face at microphone, say, “Here’s your sentence, kid… ‘Oocephalus is one tough motherfucker to spell.’”
    Wrinkle stream weak laughter filter among student audience.
    Operative Oleg repeat drill elbow, dig into rib cage operative me, say, “Where possible acquire lederhosen apparel?”
    This agent ask repeat.
    Tanek list alphabet, O-O-C-E…
    Oleg recruited participant Model United Nations. Explain multiple student mimic delegates world governments, all nation, assemble to battle question current global issue. Deliver oratory. Calculate vote. Castigate with resolution sanctions. Operative Oleg assigned represent delegate Germany. Chernok feign Italy diplomat. Magda act behalf France. Bokara figurehead nation Spain. Ling, the corrupt evil despotic Ireland. Oleg allege no American student desire represent Western nation, American youth strictly aspire serve as delegate third-world government, racial ethnics, marginalized formercolonies subjected imperial powers, striving achieve self-ruled. To follow, disco dance of all nations so demonstrate mutual affection world peace. Exchange personal body fluids.
    Tanek list alphabet, P-H-A-L…
    Even as observing, breasts so many female youth swelling, bigger cup, inflating blouse from pregnant. For official record, this agent no impregnate. No recruited delegate to Model United Nations. Become merely target for attract eyeballs lovesick sodomite Trevor Stonefield.
    Tanek list alphabet, U-S.
    Organized horde, lauded instructor, all assert vast moan at victory operative Tanek. Audience mob erupt profanities, slouch sliding deep inside seat cushions. Focused typing tiny message keyboarding personal telephones. Twist own arms so read hour on wrist clocks.
    Insistent pointed elbow of Operative Oleg, repeat wedge rib cage of this agent. Oleg repeat say, “Lederhosen?” Say operative Tanek to mimic delegate Portugal. Operative Mang ape delegate Great Britain.
    Quote, “It is humiliating to remain with our hands folded while others write history.”
    Feet of this agent approach stance microphone. Tilt head back so mouth more near for catch voice. Hands wring pole so telescope microphone most low level where remain on top head of operative me. Arms folded behind. Parade rest to await barrage English word.
    Illustrious instructor, finger pressed to page inside volume, lips slowly create sound of word, pronounce fragments in manner of reading child. First able reading child. Instructor say, “Pheo…chromo…cy…toma.” Cast eyes onto stage and repeat say, “Pheochromocytoma.”
    For official record: Ha. Effortless facile word, simple to listalphabet. However eyes of this agent witness audience, breath locked inside waiting lungs. Audience eyes no blink, fingers twisted in cross of superstition, praying this agent fail. Cat sister plus all student craving operative me to stumble listing alphabet.
    Mouth of this agent say, “P-H-E-O …”
    If flounder alphabet, build of myself hero. Martyr. As Moses and Fidel Castro, to liberate fellow youth to freedom, improved lives.
    Mouth of operative me say, “C-H-R-O-M-O…”
    Shout single voice, male youth beyond footlight, say, “Spell it right, asswipe, and