Free Taking Chances by John Goode Page A

you hated this town so much, you took off the second they put a diploma in your hand. I couldn’t figure out if you left because of the town or because of us, but I didn’t say anything. You said you couldn’t be you here, and that was fine. If you were going to be out there and happy, I was fine with that. But it’s been going on ten years, Matt, and you’re still as miserable as the day you left this house. So I ask you again, are you happy?”
    This was the most my dad had spoken to me all at once in—well, ever. Normally my mom was the one who spoke for the family, and I assumed she did because my dad never really wanted to deal with me. But this was a level of insight that frankly was beyond my mom. I was stunned into silence. Evidently, I had been wrong about that and, from the sound of things, a lot more as far as my father was concerned. His insight came from a perspective my mom could never have, and it hit me hard.
    “Because if being gay and being here makes you miserable? I can understand that.” He stood and grabbed his red-striped Christmas mug. “But if you’re gay there and still that sad, have you considered your being sad has nothing to do with Foster at all?”
    He walked out to the kitchen, neatly avoiding my nephews, who came bounding down the stairs followed by their weary mothers, who no doubt loved Christmas break as much as I did. Within twenty minutes the house was bustling with activity, and my dad was back to being my dad again, but his words stung like nothing I’d ever felt before.
    “So we’re going to throw the ball around,” John said, slapping my back. “You coming with us so we can kick your ass?”
    Normally I would have joined in, at the very least to rub it in my brothers’ faces that at least one of us still possessed a waistline. But Dad’s words had left me numb, and there was Tyler….
    I felt a slight thrill knowing his name for some reason.
    “I actually have to go help a friend fix his computer today,” I said, shaking my head. “Maybe later.”
    “You have friends here?” he asked with a goofy grin. “When did that happen, ’cause I know you didn’t have any when you lived here.” He burst out laughing as he walked away, no doubt to share his new joke with the rest of the family.
    I would have told him to fuck off if he hadn’t been right.
    I had stayed in contact with absolutely no one when I left town, since I believed everyone I actually knew only tolerated me because they were friends of my brothers. I’m sure my silence only helped my reputation of being stuck up, but I didn’t really care at the time. Now I wondered what was I pulling away from in high school—in fact, in my whole life.
    The funny thing is that looking back, Tyler was the same type of guy I was. Though he had friends, I had heard more than once he was aloof, remote, even cold to most people. Of course, back then he could do no wrong so I’d ignored the stories, but as I think about it now, it made perfect sense.
    We were both afraid and hiding in our own skins.
    After breakfast, I grabbed my laptop, slipped it into my bag, and told my mom I’d be back before dinner. She was still mad and barely grunted as she helped my sisters-in-law make lunch for when the boys would be back. If there was anyone on Earth capable of feeding a grudge longer than I could, Mom was my first choice.
    It was going to be a long Christmas
    I decided to walk. The weather was decent, and fresh air invaded me when I inhaled. The truth, of course, was that I hadn’t had an excuse for years to approach Tyler’s house on foot, and I had never had a solid reason. Now I had both. Another deep breath in the silence of the morning, and I walked down to the sidewalk.
    It was like a time warp; with each step I felt like I was being hypnotized. The noise of my shoes hitting the pavement mesmerized me, and I could feel my thoughts going back. I felt like I’d stumbled into a slipstream. Every step was another bit