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you when we first met, but I keep you around now because I like you.” It pleases me to hear Lana profess this. I stop walking. She slowly turns to look at me.
“I like you too, Lana.” I wrap my arms around her in a hug. It is not acting, but something else that forces the action. She hesitantly reciprocates by wrapping her arms around me. I inhale her scent and melt a little further into her warm embrace. The emotion that triggers this suddenly turns to something raw when I remember my mother hugging me in the same manner.
“What do you feel, Emma?” Lana asks quietly, as if sensing a momentous breakthrough.
“I feel anger,” I say omitting the feelings that trigger the hug in the first place. Lana exhales deeply and pulls me away, keeping her hands on my shoulders. She gives me a half smile.
“And that’s why you’re not like the other darkling.” She knows I almost feel something else. I smile back at her, thankful she has given me the chance that was denied the other darkling. Perhaps my appearance is what has kept me alive this far. I also realize it is my biggest liability when I see the male darkling, Louis leering at me in the distance. Instead of grabbing Lana’s hand as I usually do, I clutch my knife a little tighter.
“When will Finn return?” I ask.
“He obviously had a lot of things to work out of his system if he’s stayed away this long,” Lana says. She laughs a little and I think I understand what she means because I feel envious of the female darklings he spends time with. “Bec is probably going bat-shit crazy with boredom without me around.” I giggle. I can tell when she uses humor, which is almost always. I glance over my shoulder to see if Louis is still there, but he is gone.
I take a deep breath. “I hope he comes back soon,” I say. There is a different hollow feeling that encompasses me when I think of Finn and his protection.
“His good looks aside, he is very handy to have around. He probably got held up fixing something or another. Don’t worry for him. He always comes back more swoon worthy than when he left.” She fans herself with her hands and feigns fainting.
Remembering how long our walk took, I know Louis followed us to the crop. I do not worry for Finn. I worry for myself.
Chapter Eleven
January 16th, Night
Although Finn said that Louis would not even look at me, he stares at me constantly. It is from afar so no one else notices his haunting gaze. We are in the center of the desert circle amidst other darklings when I see him again. He leans against a hut with his eyes trained on me, hunger permeating his features. Lana is going on a hunting trip with a few of the other darklings that enjoy killing sprees as much as she. Louis is going with them so, I tell Lana that I will stay back here in case Finn returns. Being anywhere around Louis makes the hairs on my neck stand up. I cannot tell her because her worry is not something I want.
Later back in our hut she senses my mood. “Are you sure you’re okay here by yourself?” she asks. Lana vibrates with excitement to get into the forests. She wants to hunt and kill.
“I will be fine. I want to be here just in case.” It is not a lie. “I can protect myself.” It is a lie. Though, with Louis going with the hunting party I will not need to worry about protecting myself. I pick up my knife and toss it into the air. I smoothly catch the handle and smile. Lana smiles back at me.
“You are such a freak,” she says sweetly as she exits our hut and lets the door slam behind her. I immediately walk behind her and latch the wobbly lock without putting down my knife. I do not put it down when I eat some of the new vegetables out of Lana’s sack. I still do not release it when I lay down on the scant floor pallet and fall asleep.
An unusual noise jolts me from a deep, sound sleep. Louis kneels at the foot of my pallet, dangling Lana’s sack of vegetables from one finger.
“Do you know what the