Free Totlandia: The Onesies, Book 1 (Fall) by Josie Brown Page B

Heavens, no! The   real   St. Petersburg, in Russia. She's practicing with the grand masters at the Kirov."
    Brady’s eyes grew big. "But…isn’t she a little young for that?”
    Bettina nodded nonchalantly. "My daughter's talents are unparalleled. But nature thrives on nurture. Besides, it's never too late to train for the Youth America Grand Prix.” She pointed to the buffet. “Enough about my little prodigy. Feel free to stop by the refreshment table, and introduce yourself and your little genius to the other members. If you’ll excuse me, now that everyone seems to be here I’m going to introduce you, and the other new Onesies group, to the rest of the club. Mallory at the front desk has Jade’s corsage. I’m sure she’d be delighted to pin it on you instead. Please tell Jade that we look forward to meeting her at the next meet-up on Wednesday. Her devotion to our little group—and yours—is truly appreciated.”
    Booyah! Brady thought. We’re in.
    Unless Jade screws it up somehow.
     
    10:31 a.m.
    “You know you’re leaking, right?” Chakra Crutch’s tone said it all:   Loser.
    Ally had pinned her corsage over the largest of the milk stains on her sundress, the one over her right nipple, which was the size and shape of a volleyball.
    Unfortunately, the corsage wasn’t large enough to cover the other stains, too.
    It was on the tip of her tongue to tell the woman that it wasn’t a leak at all, but a spill. She bit her tongue. That would surely earn her a lecture about the harm she’d done Zoe in choosing not to breastfeed.
    Nope, she didn’t need that now, especially from a woman whose name was a New Age catchphrase. (Chakra? Oh, come on!   Really?)   Ally was already self-conscious about how she was dressed for the occasion. Her sundress was a casual cotton print, and she had put Zoe in a romper since this was supposed to be a simple meet-and-greet for the new one-year-olds and their parents. So why all the Armani, Gucci, and Ralph Lauren?
    And that was just the toddlers. Their moms were decked out in Pucci, Cavalli, and Michael Kors.
    Not to mention all those boys in their miniature tuxedoes, like Chakra’s little Quest.
    Granted, the mansion’s opulence encouraged such formality. Forget paper plates and plastic spoons. Real silverware and china adorned the buffet table, which was a regular groaning board of delectable finger foods and decadent sweets.
    Like the piece of red velvet cupcake she handed Zoe before popping the rest of it in her mouth.
    Noting how the little girl squealed, Chakra glared at her, appalled. “Those things are obesity time bombs! With so much fat and sugar in their diets, half the children in this room will have diabetes before they reach their sixteenth birthdays! Not to mention all that red dye is toxic! And you’re nursing, too!” She shook her head in horror.
    It also leaves a permanent stain, Ally thought. I guess she’ll hit the roof when she finds out Zoe had wiped the back of Quest’s hemp tux with red icing.
    The woman needed to chillax, big time.
    Ally took little solace in the realization that she wasn’t the woman’s only target for criticism. Chakra had started off by complaining about the reception room (“It’s certainly not child-proof! All it takes is one two-year-old to slip on these marble floors, and you’ve got a kid who’s a vegetable for the rest of his life…”) before turning a sharp eye on the other mothers. “I find it appalling that those women over there,” she pointed toward the quintet of Twosies mothers who stood by the French Doors leading out to the mansion’s gardens, “won’t allow their children to sleep in the same bed with them. Why wouldn’t they? It was good enough for our ancestors, it should be fine for us, too! Modern Western society sells its soul for the privilege of sleeping on a feather top Serta. No wonder our children grow up hating us.”
    Ally shrugged. “Maybe they’d prefer not to have their