Free Memoirs of a Timelord by Ralph Rotten Page B

 But in all of that I only saw one guy besides my idiot boyfriend. 
           So the dog comes running up to me and I fall back on my training.  Sure, I coulda used Emanations to send him yelping like I hit him with the Sunday paper, but the dog was just doing his job.  No reason to punish him when it took the same amount of energy to befriend it.
           "Who's a good doggie?  Cuddly Widdle dawgie." I rubbed his head while blasting him with happy aura energy.  Reaching out, I snapped off a piece of Belzium from the trash heap and converted it into a tasty protein snack.  Snatching the treat out of midair, the dog contentedly wandered off to a shady part of the yard to chew on its treasure.
           Next, I focused on the spot directly behind the only guy I could see down there.  I was still fairly green with lateral insertions (point to point jumps), but I did a pretty good job of materializing about three meters behind him.  I was mad enough to snap the guy's neck for stealing my new ride, but as soon as I get down there I'm surprised to find Aldoo chatting happily while the two of them tear apart my hot rod.
           Short, no more than four feet tall, and with brown skin and patches of fur, it was obvious that my car-thief was Kerr, and an old one at that.  Normally his species would have had fur all over, but his current molting state bespoke extreme age, like hundreds of years old.  Nonetheless, his vintage did not seem to keep him from ripping the solar inhibitors out of my baby and tossing them on the floor.
           "Trash, trash, trash." He announced as he threw out the distributor rods.  At the same time I see Aldoo working on the cloaking device.  What in the hell?  I was about to kick some ass when Morbesta turned around to confront me.
           "Were you shopping in the garbage pile when you purchased these parts?  Those rods were only cesium plated, not impregnated.  And those lifters have a maximum load factor of forty kH." His rat-like paw tossed one of the gleaming poles into the pile with a loud clang.
           "Hey, I built that cloak from scratch.  It's got plenty of power, why're you ripping that out too?" I was miffed that he would question so much of my work.  I'd expected a few suggestions, but this guy was tearing my baby down to the frame in some places.
           "It's a senseless design." He dismissed it with a wave of a hand.  "You expend a significant amount of energy just to be invisible.  Then you expend even more energy to run the defensive shielding.  My system not only combines those two units, but as long as you are expending that much energy why settle for being invisible when you can just as easily look like someone else entirely.  They take roughly the same amount of energy.  Think of it as space camoflauge; you can be a rock, or another ship, or just plain old invisible.  Would that be enough of an improvement for you?" He clasped his dirty little fingers as he paused to eye me warily.
           "And the deflector system?" I could not help but notice the incrementor assembly bleeding on the floor.  
           "Your system relocates particulate matter as it travels thru space, but that leaves a wake that can be tracked.  My system partially phases the entire ship so ambient stellar matter passes thru you undisturbed.  But that's not where it really shines.  Ever notice how inconvenient it is to go around other ships, or planets, or stars?  All of those pesky obstacles...what if you could go right through them.  Wouldn't it be easier that way?  It certainly makes the trip a lot more interesting.  Have you ever visited the core of a gas giant?  Parked under the mantle of a newly formed star?  Who needs doors, right?"
           I could see Aldoo was nodding enthusiastically.  My boyfriend practically had a boner for the hardware this guy was showing him.  Figures; under all that pretty exterior Aldoo was just an uber-geek.